the noble march

William Wallace is walking to the gallows.

Frodo and Sam are walking to Doom.

Luke is walking into the Emperor's chamber.

The Word has become flesh and dwelt among us.

Pilate has washed his hands.

"Lord forgive them, the know not what they do."

"It is finished."

faith

What is the real world application of your faith?

If you are a Christian, how does that fundamentally effect your life?

Do you go to church?

Pray?

Listen to worship music?

Go to Bible study?

If so... what function do these practices serve?

Do they make you feel better?

Do you feel like God would be mad if you didn't?

Are those places where your friends are?

Do you just not know what else to do?

I love the church. I love campus ministry and Christian community. However, I am worried that our practices lack any real meaning anymore. If faith is now a consumer product, something that we do so that we can feel better, or be seen, then I am not sure what the point really is. This world is crawling with Christians. WSU has at least 10 Christian groups. But what purpose are we really serving? What purpose are all of the churches that litter the Palouse and the US in general really fulfilling?

What is the measure of any Christian community? Is it members? Conversions? Bible studies? These things are great and they are not. They are great if they are helping people live fully Christ-integrated lives. Meaning lives that are rich, abundant, risky and revolutionary. They are not if they allow people to live in a fantasy world that is all of the aforementioned things, but then return to the real world without so much as a second thought or re-examination.

Perhaps all of the Christian structures were created to remind us that Jesus called us to be nothing less than a revolutionary presence in the world. But they all run the risk of being the places where we learn to pat ourselves on the backs and congratulate ourselves for our faithfulness.

Church, worship, Bible study...these can be the places in our lives where we allow God to deeply, deeply unsettle us. These can be the places where we lose our lives and find purpose. These can be the places where we become truly known by the one who truly knows us.

We need to settle for nothing less.

double standard?

A couple of weeks ago I advertised an event while not wearing a shirt. The response went well...lots of people showed up, people laughed and I think that many people were able to "re-look" at what Jesus has to do with our sexuality. Tomorrow I will be donning the pizza box again to advertise this event again. I asked a friend of mine to join me in this bit of exhibitionism for Jesus.

His response has been very interesting.

We has spent about 45 minutes today talking about whether this is an appropriate way to advertise a Christian event. In this count/counterpoint the question about whether a woman could participate in this form of advertising came up.

I am arguing that a woman could (I'll be it with the pizza box located in different places). The question seems to revolve around whether a woman would be tempting men. If she was, the idea follows, that she should not participate. And if a woman should not participate, then a man should not either.

I think I disagree with this idea at step one, that a woman should not ever dress in a way that could tempt a man. I struggle with this idea because it is so cultural. Is cleavage tempting? An ankle? Eyes? Shoulders? How can any culture agree what is a "sexual" part of the body?

Secondly, why is the responsibility for sexual sin placed on the woman? If I look at a woman lustfully is that lust my fault or hers? Does it matter how she is dressed?

Jesus says that a man who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery in his heart. It appears from my study that adultery in the Bible is ANY sex outside of marriage. So then, this is sex without mutual consent. This is mind rape that Jesus is talking about. Isn't the idea that woman is at fault then, just like the argument that if a woman is dressed provocatively and is raped that she is to blame? How much violence towards woman has followed this idea?

Finally, and I think that this is crux of my idea, what message does this send to woman inside and outside of the church? I know woman outside the church who do not own any non-t-shirt tops that are lacking cleavage. Can they come to church? How are the looked at when they come? What are people's disdainful looks telling them about Jesus?

Was the woman who was caught in adultery clothed when she was drug before Jesus? Was the woman at the well dressed appropriately?

Does it matter?

Men; I think that it is time that we take responsibility for our own sexual thoughts and practices. We are weak at times. We need Jesus' help. We need to grow in love for our sisters and to learn to respect ALL of them, not just the ones who are not physically tempting to us.

Women; your bodies are not dirty things that suddenly become beautiful when you get married. Please don't get your value from the ways that we men see you...it is a fleeting way to get value that will never bring long term worth. I apologize for any way that I have contributed to making you feel like your body is the only thing that makes you feel special or dirty. Neither extreme is what God has for you. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Please remember this truth.

And to my friend who brought this up. These are my humble thoughts. I may be very wrong. It wouldn't be the first time :)

life abundant?

Jesus came to give life and life abundant.

He said so. I promise.

I am not sure that my life always reflects that abundance. Too often I settle for mediocrity. I often feel like the Mr. Incredible trying to sell insurance. I am trying to squeeze my life into the margins that it is supposed to fit. My faith can feel like the mold that I have to fit all of my passions into. My faith becomes about being well-behaved and polished.

But is it supposed to be that way?

I don't think so.

Before I was a Christian I was a classic "could of been" person.

"I could of made the basketball team, but the coach didn't like me".

"I could answer that question, but what's the point"?

"I could care about those people, but what can I do"?

"That person would never like me, who am I"?

It was Jesus who taught me passion. It is the lie of church culture that often tries to squash it. Love doesn't stop when it is pressured to, it pushes through, it finds cracks, it has to find a way to expand out or it has to shrivel up and die.

There are only two options.

I refuse to allow the great adventure of my life to be what I watch on TV, the video games I play, the music I listen to, or the books that I read.

If life with Jesus cannot be bold, passionate, full of love and an adventure than it is all a pile of shit and it is time to move on.

I believe that I life of Jesus can be terrifyingly beautiful and achingly exciting. I think that it can be abundant after all.

(ps. thanks spazham for inspiring me to try and blog again.)

passive aggressiveness

Why are Christians so willing to hurt each other with a smile on our faces?

Why can't we be honest about our feelings and our disagreements?

Why can't we be just straight forward and believe that grace is big enough to handle our descent?

Notes are not appropriate ways to handle frustrations. Hints and manipulation are not the right ways to get what you want. Words don't hurt less when they are written, typed, tweeted or facebooked.

Christian community will always be messy. It was meant to be this way. Look at Acts 2, the birth of the church. God creates His church multi-ethnic, multi-cultural and multi-lingual. Do you think that they experienced communication problems? Do you think that struggled with questions about the difference between truth and culture? Do you think that they had to lay down biases and fight some things out? Absolutely they did.

But they did.

They did.

Not with notes, but with honesty. They changed structures. They gave their lives side by side to the mission of the Kingdom of God.

They could've taken their balls and gone home. They could've sniped and gossiped their community away. They could've pissed in the well of their community.

This coming Sunday in Pentecost Sunday. If you are reading this note and are trying to follow Jesus' Way, I encourage you to take a look at whatever Christian community you call home.

Do you disagree honestly?

Do the different generations respect each other?

Is a voice of discontent allowed?

Do you fight fair?

Let's all strive to be Christ's community. In that effort we just may start to understand the necessity of the Holy Spirit.

two places that I am a consumer whore (otherwise known as Lent: day two)

1. Coffee Shops
2. Amazon.com mp3 downloads

I love coffee and trendy swag. I met a student at a coffee shop today and did NOT buy coffee. Or a trendy t-shirt. Or a newspaper. But I wanted to buy all of them. ALL OF THEM.

Firefox 3 does this very convicting thing...it sorts your most commonly visited pages. Number 5 on my list is the Amazon mp3 page.

Music. Coffee. Cool clothes. One day and three idols revealed.

39 to go...

lent: day one

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of the season of Lent. Lent is the forty days leading up to Easter and in the liturgical church traditions, Lent is a season of fasting to prepare for the good news of Jesus' resurrection. I have participated in Lent for the past 8 years, usually by fasting one item (coffee, TV, Internet, etc). This year I will attempt to "unplug" from consumer culture. This means that I will not purchase anything other than groceries for the next 40 days. No coffee shop trips, no eating out, no buying clothes, no mp3's. I feel like Christians need to embrace the call of simple living that permeates scripture. I also feel like I suck at this particular call of Christ.

I suspect that the next 40 days will be difficult and will hopefully call me to re-examine how I am living out the call of a homeless teacher from 2,000 years ago. I will be blogging about this experience here and will try to be honest about my struggles and (presumably) the freedom that I find as well.

thoughts on persecution 

In America there are legitimate difficulties in following Jesus. Historically, prosperity has been toxic to the Christian faith and the culture wars and politicizing of Christianity can make the message muddled. On part of the Christian message has made it through though, that Christians can be persecuted. This message seems to have been received and clung to by many American Christians (myself included). When someone on TV makes a jab at Jesus, we are persecuted. When the media focuses on a corrupt Christian leader, we are persecuted. When someone gets tight or weird around us when they find out what we believe, we are persecuted. But is this really persecution? In a world where people actually die, are imprisoned and are disowned by their families for their closeness to Jesus, can American Christians talk about persecution? 

I say no.

I think that we have been sold an "us vs. them" theology where we must always be on guard for those that are out to get us. We forget that every US President has shared the Christian faith. We forget that the majority of the country label themselves as Christian! 

Christians (like me) also fail to see what happens when we cry "persecution"; we insult and hurt those who are actually persecuted. We waste all of our compassion on ourselves. We take the message of a murdered teacher, who used is final moments to pray for compassion on his murderers and make his message about self-preservation. We are commanded to love those who are truly oppressed. 

I propose that American Christians take every bit of energy that we apply to our persecution and focus it on loving, serving and advocating those who are persecuted in the US today. Let us befriend and serve those who are persecuted on the basis of their sexuality, race, economic class or part of the country they live in. Let's stop giving our compassion only to those we agree with and share with all those who would benefit from the servant love of the largest and most powerful group in the US. 

I have complained and been hurt by reactions to my faith, but it is only recently that I have asked those who disagree with me what it is like to live in this country. They suffer more than me. They are mocked and characterized more than me. 

Note: I have no desire to make light of those in the world who are truly persecuted for their faith. Christians die daily for their belief. Those people are heroes of the Christian faith and all respect is due to them.  

how do you know when you are part of a movement?

Last weekend my world was changed. I have been a Christian for 8 years and I would say that I have been pursuing God's purposes of changing the world for about 6 of those years. I have been to conferences, mission trips, staff training and seminars. I have read books, listen to sermons and podcasts. I have prayed to be used and I have thought long and hard about my philosophy of ministry.

In doing all of this I have often felt alive and motivated. There have been many times where I am excited about waking up in the morning. I also have often felt tired and burnt out. Sometimes I have dreamed about quitting and getting a job where I could wear a suit and simply not worry about God's work anymore. Don't get me wrong, I would still go to church. I would still tithe. Even still read Christian books. I just would no longer lend my heart and gut to some promise of God changing things. I would become a Christian who would just grin and bear the values around me. God could still have some of my time, but I have often wondered how long God could have access to my passion. At times I have often felt too tired to be disappointed again.

This all sounds very hopeful, huh? Well, it's real. This is how I have too often felt in the past 6 years. I do ministry full time, but unfortunately I am often leading out of a passion that is simply drawing from a past well. I entered last weekend in this kind of place. I wasn't sure that I really had anything less to give God, to give ministry. I felt dead inside, but was supposed to talk to the students that I work with about life. I felt like a hypocrite and like a fraud. As I prayed for our winter conference (Jesustherevolution) I felt like God was saying "this is going to the beginning of something". Could I dare to believe that? Could I dare to hope? The answer was "no". I came into last weekend with a word from God and absolutely no hope that anything could happen, that anything would change. I secretly hoped that I could simply fade away from full time ministry, get a job and be glad that I had been able to give a few years to something bigger than myself.

But something funny happened; I now believe that last weekend was the beginning of something real and something new that Jesus is doing in the northwest and at the University of Idaho.

Saturday night has long been the crying night at InterVarsity conferences. The speaker says something powerful. People cry. We then all worship together. The script is set and can easily be predicted. This Saturday night though, was not about tears, it was about life and the life of being part of a movement that God is doing. Our speaker (Trent Sheppard, google his sermons and hear a prophet speak) read the "Vision" of the 24-7 Prayer movement and invited us to stand whenever we felt "something". That something for me started in my gut and resonated through my whole body.

I cried.
I stood.
I was able to hope again.

The room was electric. It wasn't a room of weeping or feeling guilty. I was a room where 250 people just became missionaries in a moment (yes I realize that word has negative connotations, but all can be redeemed). The living, breathing, powerful, immense God just called His people to pray and serve Him in a radical and new way. And I think that we said "yes".

As I am writing this my hands are shaking. I don't think this is a response to last Saturday night, but instead to God's continued work of revival in my soul. I feel so utterly alive, so utterly real right now. I want God. I want His presence all the time. Even more so, I want my generation to meet the author of their lives, their passions, their desires. I want to see God move so desperately it hurts. I want to see something deep and real inspire and change the world.

So I am praying again. I am praying the way that I did in the Youth Room at La Villita in Chicago, the way Eli and I prayed in China until late at night and then again early the next morning. Students at U of I are also praying. We have gotten the crazy idea that we can do it for a month straight, 24-7. My basement is full of candles, Bibles, lights, and a giant wooden cross. It is time to pray!

This is happening all over the world. Go to http://www.24-7prayer.com/, read the stories let God speak to you. I really could care less if you are a Christian or not, take the risk and ask why 20 somethings in every corner of the globe have begun to pray.

I do worry that I am not really part of a movement. I worry that I am so hungry to be part of something bigger than myself that I will latch onto anything. I worry that it is not really staff work to spend 2 or 3 hours a day in prayer room. I worry when I start a facebook group that has 50 members to pray, but 6 or 7 people are actually signing up to pray.

What is a movement and what is a good idea? What's the difference?

The difference is marked down the line. Honestly you can't tell the difference in the moment, it can only be judged in historical perspective. When you are in the midst of something, it is nothing but faith that keeps you going.

In spite of my worries, in faith I have to believe that God wants to catch up this generation in a movement that will start in wild, crazy, obsessive prayer then will lead to...who knows?

I feel too alive to play it safe. I feel to alive to build a net if we fall. Someday we will all know if this is a movement or a good idea. As for today, I choose to believe that it is time to pray.

Here is the "Vision" as it was scrawled on a prayer room wall by Pete Greig in England at 3 AM:

THE VISION

So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this… The vision?

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.

You see bones? I see an army.

And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.They wouldn't even notice.They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.What is the vision ?The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.A million times a day its soldiers
choose to loosethat they might one day winthe great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"

And this is the sound of the undergroundThe whisper of history in the makingFoundations shakingRevolutionaries dreaming once againMystery is scheming in whispersConspiracy is breathing…This is the sound of the underground.

And the army is discipl(in)ed.

Young people who beat their bodies into submission.

Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ? Can hormones hold them back?Can failure succeed?

Can fear scare them or death kill them ?
And the generation prays like a dying manwith groans beyond talking,with warrior cries, sulphuric tears andwith great barrow loads of laughter!Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.
Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside.

On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God.

My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D.

And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

discipline

"Fasting kicked my butt. I went into this chapter, still focusing on the previous chapter. I honestly have never had good experiences with fasting, I usually get too obsessed and prideful about weight loss and physical appearance. Recently though, I have felt God challenging me in my discipline and character. Seemingly, God has been showing me the connection between my discipline and character weaknesses. I think that my weakness in doing the things of God is directly proportional to my inability to resist evil. Not being able to stay committed to daily silence, keeps me from tearing away from my house to get to campus. Weakness in my own scripture study, contributes to me procrastinating on prepping Bible study and large group talks."

The above is from a journal entry for Practicum class. My reading on fasting today struck a nerve that has been permeating in my for awhile, where is the discipline in my life? I have some discipline, I work out 3-4 times a week, usually wake up between 8-9 AM...you know stuff like that. But spiritual discipline? I am pretty weak.

Ironically, this was not always so. My senior year of college I spent about one hour daily in prayer. For awhile it was great, but then it got very legalistic. If I missed my hour, I was wrecked with guilt, even though for the life of me I couldn't outwardly express any reason that God would be angry with me. My intern year with IV, I felt like God was actually calling me to cool it a little bit, so I did.

But now I am wondering if I have embraced my freedom too much. Am I tired, because I am spending too much time counseling others, without letting God check have input in my own heart? Am I without hope because I am not letting Jesus speak vision into my soul? Am I unwilling to create waves because without hearing Jesus say "I love you" I lack confidence? Do I have not, because I do not ask? Do I let fear separate me from God, because I forgot who He is?

I enter into discipline with great fear. I want to know God (at lead I think I do) but I do not want to let legalism back into my life. I enter in though, because I believe that the innermost parts of my soul are crying out for something eternal. I also believe the eternal God wants more of me.

funny thought from The Sports Guy

"One other bonus with Howard that nobody mentions: Because he's a devout Christian, even when he turns 35 in 2020, those will be Christian years -- he won't have any of that smoking-drinking-partying mileage on him, which means he could play at a high level until his early-40s (much like how Kurt Warner keeps chugging along at age 36)."
-Bill Simmons, ESPN.com http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/071218

Now that is funny.

I wish I had some clever insight on this, but I don't really. I am not sure that it is true is my deepest insight. His Airness played till nearly 40, and smoked some pretty intense cigars and Mark Sweeney of the Royals is one of the most outspoken Christians in Major League Baseball and he breaks down more often than my crappy Clearwire internet box. However it does raise an interesting question; if you were going to start a team, would rather have a "body is my temple" Christian player, or similarly talented wild man who will step on the throat of their opponent to win? Can a Christian step on the throat of an opponent? Can a Christian still follow Jesus and put a few smoking-drinking-partying mileage on themselves?

Interesting thought all around....

sports & race

This morning I went to a current events Sunday School class. This week's class was the story that came last week when a Golf Channel analyst suggested that the rest of the PGA Tour should "lynch" Tiger Woods in a back alley, as a strategy to catch up with the dominant Woods. Our class talked about this specific issue, this analysts subsequent suspension and whether we hold racist tendencies in our hearts. After listening to sports radio and television coverage about the incident over the course of the last week and having the conversation at church today, I am beginning to wonder if sports is the best venue for race discussion in the 21st century.

Whether you look at this incedent, the Don Imus controversy, the NBA dress code or the diminishing numbers of African-American baseball players, many of the meaningful conversations about race are happening not on CNN, but instead on ESPN. Of course this isn't anything new, Jackie Robinson integrated Major League Baseball in 1947, when Martin Luther King Jr was 18 years old. Sports is generally ahead of the social curve in terms of opportunities for minorities in the US, likely because sports are so result driven. While sports still remains behind in front office equality, one cannot forget just last year when Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy became the first two African-American coaches in the Super Bowl.

So why is sports leading the way in the conversation? I would argue because sports in probably the most integrated part of our society. It is ironic that my church would choose to talk about this controversy, since churches are possibly the LEAST integrated part of our society. Frankly the San Diego Padres have more experience walking the road of multi-ethnicity, than your pastor probably does. Schools tend to break up by ethnicity. Businesses often segregate themselves. Sports cannot. An NFL coach who doesn't want to work with non-white players will simply not be able to win, thus will not be able to work. Period.

Are sports perfect then? Nope. Not by a long shot. Many African-American players have drawn similarities between professional sports and slavery; they make the observation that while the players make money, the mostly white owners make so much more. When these players retire, they often cannot find jobs in these same organizations that they gave their bodies for. That is not a perfect system. The last calendar year has been marred by instances of racist comments first against the Rutgers basketball team, now against Tiger Woods. The NBA is facing the challenges that come when white people decide that they do not enjoy watching players who act too "street" (ie, too black).

No, not perfect...but the conversations are happening. There is value in that right? I think so, but I also think that for Christians who claim they want to be about racial reconciliation, this is an arena that we need to be in. These conversations are happening and they are happening on a very large and very influential stage. Are we part of it? Are we, the people who proudly acknowledge the depravity of all human hearts, present when people say that some athlete doesn't have a "racist bone in their body"? Are we there when Christian athletes like Deion Sanders are mocked because they don't act like white Christians, are we there? Or, are we in our segregated churches, talking to people like us. Hey, maybe we are too busy telling people to lay down the evils of sports or mourning all Sunday widows out there.

relief in defeat

The Seahawks are out of the playoffs.

The Cougars are not going to go undefeated.

So why do I feel pretty good this evening?

I think that it has something to do with some emotional detachment. I have been so busy defending the Seahawks from a skeptical national press and trying not to jinx the Cougs, it's nice not to have to get worked up for awhile. I can simply enjoy the Super Bowl. I can pay attention to the Cougars again in March. Mariners won't stress me out until April (though I am really pulling for them to make a run a Bedard). Whew...it's kind of nice to exhale.

I have always held out some dream to go into sports journalism. I really respect the hosts on ESPN Radio and like every other sports yahoo in America I will occasionally say to myself, "I can do that" (which is of course, debatable). Unfortunately, I am too much of fan to ever feign objectivity. So instead, I get myself too worked up and then get philosophical after defeat.

Hope you all enjoy the Conference Championships and the Super Bowl. I will be watching in total emotional freedom here in Moscow.

the gospel

Lately I have been growing tired of the word "gospel". Mind you, I am not tired of Jesus. I am not tired of Christianity. I am not tired of talking about the "good news" (the literal definition of gospel) of God becoming a man. I simply tired of the word.

How did I get here? Well, recently I was at InterVarsity's national staff conference and that is where I realized how I was feeling. The theme of the conference was not being "ashamed of the Gospel", which is something that apostle Paul talks about in his letter to the Romans. When I first saw this theme I cringed. Cringed! I felt so guilty. After all, my job is to be someone who communicates Jesus' offer of relationship and salvation to the world. I should love this theme. Yet I cringed.

I thought about my cringing later that day. I tried to identify what in the world was wrong with me. Then it finally hit me (or perhaps God did the hitting, I am not too sure) I am not tired of the gospel, I am tired of the connotations that I have with word, namely an oversimplified, one size fits all interpretation of Jesus' message.

Unfortunately, I am not sure that I have better definition of the gospel then a simplified one though. Is the good news that God became man? Is the good news that He died so that we don't have to? Is the good news that I can have relationship with God? Is the good news that whole world can have relationship with God? Is the good news that Jesus taught us to love the least among us? Is the good news that Jesus led His followers to talk about Him with gentiles (non-Jews), a necessary step for me and most people I know to be part of the Kingdom of Heaven? Is the good news heaven? Is the good news now? Is the good news Jesus' whole life and ministry? That would take a much longer blog post!

The good news of Jesus is so meaty, so multi-layered, so frickin confusing and so beautiful. I have given my life to it. I have been redeemed by it. I have seen it transform people that I love. I have seen destroy my pride more times than I can count. I want the world to know and more importantly, experience this amazing good news and really interact with God. At least I know that I am not ashamed of that.

self awareness

So I am back in the blogging world. Blogging again is kind of a New Year's Resolution of sorts. I have realized that when I don't blog stuff seems to just pile up inside of me and I am less honest with myself and in turn the rest of the world. To top all of that off, I tend to not blog (or even do the old fashioned journaling) when I feel like I have nothing to say. Unfortunately, when I get out of the habit of thinking about what is going on in my life, I have less to say. It is a vicious cycle.

So I am back. Unfortunately, I really don't have much to say for this first of (hopefully) many 2008 blogs. I am in St. Louis for InterVarsity's National Staff Conference so I should have a lot to chew on over the next couple of days.

Talk to you soon.

what hold does depression have on us?

Why do we hurt ourselves? Why do we kill ourselves? Why do we dream of death?

Is it psychological issue? Do we have too few shrinks?

Is it a chemical issue? Do we have too few pharmacies?

Is it a spiritual issue? Do we simply need more pastors?

Is it a loneliness issue? Do we need to start to be nice to each other?

I don't know, I simply am lost on this issue. I want to have words, I want to have something that I can say that will prevent kids from cutting. I want to have something to pray that will stop college aged suicide. I want to have breathing exercises that will remove the need for drugs.

But I don't.

I know that we were created to live, yet so many of us choose to die. And I think that it is getting worse.

Please pray for my friends. Too many are going down the path injuring and trying to kill themselves. Pray that life would come in and defeat death.

Pray for your friends. I know that I am not alone in having people I love standing on the ledge.

Pray for life.

boondock saints

I just got done watching Boondock Saints. I am still wondering about what the implications of this movie. I know that it is about the most popular movie on college campuses these days. I am still wondering what that means. So while I am working on this, I am wondering what whoever is reading this thinks. If you have seen the movie please let me know what you thought!

created in His image

What if I saw Him in you?

What if you were not the guy who cut me off,

The woman falling out her top,

The politician I don't agree with,

Or the cop who gave me a ticket?

What if you were not the teacher I respect,

The woman who gave birth to me,

Or the man who baptized me?

What if you were not the porn star I used to Google,

The musician I worshiped,

Or the friend I got high with?

What if you were His?

Made in His image,

Given His gifts,

Blessed with His love?

After all,

You are.

convert me

I want the best. I want to read the best books, watch the best movies, drink the best drink and eat the best food.

When I think that I have or know the best, I share it with all. Here is a scoop, Lumines is fantastic game, if you have a PSP, buy it! If you want to see the finest film I have ever seen, rent Shawshank Redemption, and for my money, Bucers (a Moscow coffee shop) is the best drip coffee I have ever had.

I also believe that Jesus Christ is God's only son and is God Himself. It is in Him and Him alone that all people have access to God.

My guess is that while Lumines, Shawshank and Bucers may of been statements that you agreed with or disagreed with, my claim about Jesus elicited a much stronger reaction. My question is, why? Obviously my statement about Jesus was stronger and ultimately more important than my taste in games, movies or coffee, so it is logical that feelings should be stronger about that belief. However, doesn't also stand to reason that I should be more excited and even forceful about my belief is Jesus than about coffee?

Sadly, this is not the case for me usually. See, like most people I am a natural evangelist. I evangelize for everything. Rarely are my opinions anything less than "epic" as Donan calls them. When I am excited about any new toy or song or movie I tell everyone about it. But I am shy about evangelizing in the name of Jesus. Why?

I think a lot of it has to do with my desire to not to offend people. I am afraid that people will fin me intolerant. Or irrelevant. Or just a jerk. The reality is that people may draw just those conclusions. After all, doesn't the old adage go, "don't talk about religion or politics in polite company"? It seems that to evangelize a religious viewpoint just isn't nice or polite. Shill your coffee instead!

I think I need to call BS on this old polite adage. How can I love anyone if I keep my mouth shut about what I believe to be most important? If I believe that the God of the Universe is really interested in saving, loving and living in my closest friends, then someone explain to me how an offer of that is anything less than loving.

In 2004, my dad and I were on very different sides of the political fence. We both had deeply held beliefs about the presidential election, and for both of us, those beliefs were at least in part, rooted in our mutually shared Christianity. So did we do the "polite" thing and just be quiet for a few months? No we actually dialogued about the election and faith. Through a series of emails, my dad and I (in love) articulated our beliefs and though we never convinced each other of anything, we knew each other much better at the end.

A presidential election is very important, one of the most important events this earth offers. If there was such value in that dialogue, then how much more is there conversations about God? If God is real and has revealed Himself...isn't that important for all of us to wrestle with?

So I guess the point of this email is that there are more important things in the world than politeness. I want to invite all who are reading this to enter in to respectful dialogue with each other and those around us. If you are reading this and your beliefs are different than my own, I want you to not be afraid to talk to me and yes, even try and convince why I should smell what you are cooking. If you have read this thing, then you know my beliefs on a lot of things, if you think I am wrong, and you feel that I am wrong about something important, then love me by trying to correct me! If you are just curious as to why I said something, you can ask!

And really, try out Lumines, Shawshank and Bucer's drip. They are all really fantastic.

"come and see"

When Andrew first met Jesus, he inquired as to where Jesus was staying. Jesus responded by telling him to, "come and see". Andrew, with his companion did as Jesus said, they spent the whole day with him. After one day with Jesus, Andrew was so excited, that he found his brother Simon and told him that he had found the long promised Messiah. 

The next day, Jesus met Phillip and told him to follow. Phillip did as he was told. He was so impressed with Jesus, that he sought out Nathaniel. When he found Nathaniel he invited him to meet Jesus. When Nathaniel scoffed at Jesus' hometown, Phillip invited Nathaniel again. What was his invitation? He invited Nathaniel to "come and see". 

With Jesus it just seems to work that way. The invitation is rarely "sit and listen" or "read and learn". Scripture has no space for felt boards or even well-intentioned blogs. If you want to met or know Jesus, words never work. His miracles sound to wonky, his parables are clever, but not revolutionary on first listen (give em time...). Jesus needs to be met. He needs to be experienced. To get Jesus, you need to "come and see". 

I confess that I like clever words. I like books. I like apologetics. I get excited by well-written sermons and good post-modern Christian literature. But I am not a Jesus follower for any of these reasons. I did not chose to allow Jesus to be my teacher because someone finally explained away the problem of evil, or convinced me that I truly had free will. I chose to follow Jesus because I came and saw Him. I prayed and I met Him. I worshiped and I felt His presence. As I studied His biography, something tugged at me that was not at all intellectual. When I feel far from Jesus now, no amount of conversation or study can match simply "being" with Jesus. 

John 1 (where I got the stories above) is short on fireworks. But we see some intangible something about Jesus. These men simply spend a day with Jesus and their entire lives change. They become disciples. 

So if you are reading this today I invite you to "come and see" Jesus. Go to church on Sunday, you can sit in the back if you want. Read a gospel, or as much as you can right now. Stop reading this blog and simply say "Jesus, if You're there I want to come and see You", then simply start talking about your day and wait to see if He responds. Let's face it, if Jesus won't meet with us, then I have dedicated my life to a fraud. But I bet, if we go to see Him, He will show up to meet with us.