Donan's back...and she has thoughts to share!

Cultural intimidation at the Yard Waste disposal

I was hauling yard waste on Saturday when I had a realization: I have a fear of looking stupid at Yard Waste. I’ve found that there are specific rules that must be followed:

- Back in. This just makes practical sense since the branches/bags/etc are in the back of the car.

- Wear work gloves. I have ladylike garden gloves but they fake people out.

- Drive a pick-up. Can’t do that one but I like the Matrix!

- Be a man. Seriously, 95% of the people I see are men. Do only men work in the yard? I do turn on sports radio loudly so I appear man-friendly.

Conclusion: I will always look stupid dropping off yard waste because I can only meet 50% of the rules. Does this mean I should stop going to yard waste? I guess I could but that would work very well in terms of disposing my waste (i.e. it would sit in the shed until next spring when I would either ask Jeremiah to take it OR go at a time when I didn’t think anyone else would be there…)

This conclusion got me thinking about the dozens of situations we encounter where we feel out of place. We feel there is an expected rule of behavior and we don’t know it. To come clean, I realize very few people dropping of their yard waste care about me and how I appear dropping off mine. However, this potential fear of looking stupid is a powerful motivator for me. I will avoid looking stupid at all costs.

How many things that might be beneficial to me do I avoid because I fear I’ll look stupid? How many things do I avoid because I assume I don’t know the operating procedure so I just want to avoid altogether?

The more powerful question for me professionally, what situations do I create/participate in that have expected rules of behavior? Church is a perfect example! We stand up and sit down at certain times. How do you know when to do this? Does someone prompt you or does everything do it automatically? We sing songs out of an old blue book. How loud do you sing? What if you can’t read music? Do you just open the hymnal and pretend that you are singing? Why would someone walk into that?

So, my new question: how do I translate culture so people feel alright walking in? How do I say that it’s ok to not know the rules? How do I help people enter cultures I care about?

day without shoes

from a talented you blogger named Donan Nealon (who happens to be my wife :)

One Day without Shoes was April 8^th. I felt like everybody was talking about it until I left the house of April 8^th and realized that only a small number of people actually knew about it. I just happen to live fully in that small number. Why? Because I work with college students who live part of their lives on Facebook.

Some of you might read some negative connections in that last statement. Please don’t. I’m not trying to communicate any values with that statement. I’m just stating a fact that I realized on April 8^th. I have an unique view into the values and perspectives of Americans.

It’s a beautiful thing that college students care deeply. Historically, college students have spearheaded important social movements. I love that students don’t want to simply give money to a cause but they want to try to ‘walk a day barefoot’ to raise awareness about the experiences of these children. The problem is real and has serious consequences. As stated on www.onedaywithoutshoes.com:

· In some developing nations, children must walk for miles to school, clean water and to seek medical help.

· Cuts and sores on feet can lead to serious infection.

· Often, children cannot attend school barefoot.

· In Ethiopia, approximately one million people are suffering from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring disease caused by walking barefoot in volcanic soil.

· Podoconiosis is 100% preventable with basic foot hygiene and wearing shoes.

I was particularly impressed with students in Moscow/Pullman because it was inconvenient to go that particular day without shoes. It was about 45 degrees and very windy. Our house lost power for 30 minutes due to high winds. Nonetheless, I saw students braving the elements to support the cause.

Significantly inspired by my college friends, I did my best to join with them. I walked from my house to my car with flip flops in hand. I then put on shoes to drive the car (it’s illegal to drive barefoot…) and wore shoes into the grocery store (didn’t want to violate health code…) However, once I finished my grocery store errand, I took the flip flops off and walked around my carpeted house barefoot. I then got back into the car barefoot (as a passenger this time… no laws broken) and didn’t wear shoes for the 2+ hour drive to an overnight retreat/meeting.

In the midst of sharing this experience with my college friends, I pondered how my riding in the car or walking around on my carpeted floor in my heated house raised awareness for barefooted children in Africa. I felt like I was missing the point of the day but I was just going through my normal routine. My normal routine doesn’t involve walking for hours. My normal routine doesn’t involve hot and dusty roads. My cold feet only give me a momentary taste of life barefoot.

So, high five to the folks at Tom’s Shoes (www.toms.com) for mobilizing college students. I’m impressed with a company that gives one pair of shoes to children in Africa for every pair purchases. However, I’m not satisfied with just one day set aside for thinking about the lives of others. I think that’s an everyday call. How do you publicize that on Facebook?