conversion

Today InterVarsity in the Northwest is hosting an evangelistic event at Oregon State University and Washington State University. This same event will be happening at Washington State University on Friday.

I often struggle with words like "evangelism". I asked my students on Monday what words come to mind when they hear the word. "Pushy", "old men with green bibles", "televangelists" and "awkward" came to mind. My pastor loves to tell me that when he was in college an eager student rushed to tell him the Four Spiritual Laws, without first asking him if he was a Christian. Many years later he still tells this story and it obviously affects him.

But, evangelism is not inherently bad. A student whom I greatly respect, who happens to be Baha'i came to IV's Winter Conference this weekend. She heard a lot about sharing faith and the word evangelism thrown about. At first I was really concerned about whether she was offended by all the evangelistic language and I wished that the speaker would cool it a little bit. However, I began to realize that Christianity IS an inherently evangelistic faith. We believe Jesus told us to "make disciples of all nations". We believe that Jesus is the permanent passover, that he is the permanent embodiment the lamb's blood that cause the angel of death to pass over the Jewish homes during the passover. We believe that if his death is accepted, we get passed over and even better, we believe that he rose again and that he will create new life in us.

There is not much about the Christian faith that works if it held closely to the heart, but never shared. We are encouraged to share out of the humility that we are not God and cannot offer anything to the world that God has not first given to us.

Yes, evangelism is often awkward. Yes, evangelism without humility and listening, is de-humanizing and rude. Yes, when one is "sharing the gospel" we may be stepping into a world of messy history with the church and we better be ready to repent of some broken history.

But...I am a product of evangelism. I am a product of people who invited me to Bible study, shared their lives with me, never blinked when I dropped f-bombs, rejoiced when I converted and were patient with me as I figured out what that meant. Converting to Christianity is the most important decision I have ever made. It changed the entire trajectory of my life and has changed me from the inside out. I am thankful that I was evangelized to.

This morning 5 people at OSU have responded and decided to accept Jesus' sacrifice and lifestyle. They have agreed to meet other Christians and start the process of figuring out what this decision means. Unlike Saturday morning, I have no ambivalence about this. I am excited and my heart is swelling out towards OSU and the new life that is emerging there.

I would appreciate prayers on Friday. WSU students will be joined by Whitman and University of Idaho students. Staff will be on site at these Proxe stations, but students will be talking to students. Please pray that the Spirit will be bring students that have been seeking truth this year. Please pray students would be bold and full of real love. Please pray that all students who come to these stations would feel listened to and cared about, regardless of their responses. Please pray that God's will would be done, at WSU as in heaven.

Tablets

Last week my dad emailed me about a cheap internet tablet by a company name Velocity. It was $200 and my dad wanted to know if I thought that it was a good buy.

My initial response was "no way"! Obviously there is an iPad and a 1,000 cheap knock offs. However, my dad is more frugal (and less susceptible to clever advertising) so I checked it out.

What did I find? A nice little tablet that was, admittingly, slightly underpowered and hampered by the lack of Android Marketplace. The tab ran at 600 mghz, had a nice 7' capacitive touch screen and runs flash as well as an iPad (which is to say, not at all). It came packed with a Kindle app and apparently was great for browsing the internet, which seems to be 90% of the reason to own a tablet. Not bad.

A little more searching and I found a tab from a company name eLocity. This tab has an hdmi out port, a Tegra dual core processor (faster than Apple's "magical" device), bluetooth, a usb port, a removable battery and upgradable storage. Total cost: $300.

Now the point of this post is not an endorsement for elocity's tablet, the point is the power of advertising and peer pressure. It's highly debatable that internet tablets are wise or prudent purchases, but they are fun and have a certain amount of fun appeal. However, this emerging market is becoming synonymous with the iPad. Apple did this before with iPod, but anyone who likes techy toys should be very happy that Apple was challenged by competitors. Without competition, Apple would still likely have iTunes music locked out for other players and we would be paying $500 for the player itself. In spite of challenges from Microsoft, Creative and others, Apple still refuses to allow easy battery replacements.

Worse than anything else, Apple will announce a new iPad next week. Likely it will have an retina (hd) display and a front facing camera. The screen doesn't matter, but the camera does, as video conferencing is becoming the norm. Those millions of units that have launched this year will be obsolete. Call me cynical, but given how "all in" Apple has been on front facing cameras this year, it seems like they knew this change was coming. This is the definition of "planned obsolescence".

Apple is in many ways the least consumer friendly major company in the US, but they make some sexy products and clever commercials. The message that we learn from Apple is that everything they make is sexy and good, while other products are cheap and knock-offs.

And I have to confess they caught me on the tablet thing.

Deron Williams to the Nets

So let me get this straight, the Nets get a MUCH better player than Melo, for 2/3 of the cost. Crazy.

Can you imagine if the Knicks had gotten Williams? I seem to remember that elite PG's work out pretty well with D'Antoni...

Fun deadline. Now if only the Team that Shall Not be Named can pick up Randolph or Camby...

knowing

In the church we talk about discerning God's will for our lives. Often times we view discovering your "calling" to be the highest end of faith. You can't stop a Christian who knows what she should be doing!

This quest is a good one in many ways. After all, I don't think anyone is really going to argue that purposed, directed life is more pleasant that aimless wandering. I think that living for something bigger than yourself will ultimately trump just doing the next thing blindly till you die.

I do, however, worry that this quest to "know" is in some ways a dangerous one. It seems for me, knowing that I am pursuing my calling can leave me ill-equipped for hard times.

"But I thought knowing was supposed to make things easier?"

"Doesn't pursuing my calling mean that I am going to be taken care of physically, spiritually and economically?"

What is the good of "knowing" if knowing doesn't create a list of guarantees?

This mentality also leads me to endlessly try and interpret what circumstances mean. I am constantly trying to control my life and my God by knowing what a bad fundraising month, a great campus bible study, a broken ankle, a great date with Donan, or an agonizing fight mean. Everything has to have a larger context...right? Isn't the ability to make sense of life the whole point of being a Christian?

Actually, no.

Job was caught in the middle of an argument between God and the Devil. Did he get to know the larger context? No.

Abram endured years and years (and years) of promises from God that he would be a great nation. Why did God wait years to fulfill that promise? Because He did. Everything else is conjecture and speculation.

Jews (mostly) in the early part of the first century got to experience the glory of God in the flesh. Those born twenty years early didn't.

God's name is ultimately "I am who I am" and "I am" does what He does.

And that reality drives me crazy. I want God to answer to me. I want God to tell me why. I want him to give me divine interpretation for the times that I am in. And when he is done telling me why my life is what it is like, then I want him to go ahead a let me in how to best understand atonement, let me know if free will exists, whether or not there was a second shooter on the Grassy Knoll and whether or not debates about evolution or politics really matter.

He stubbornly refuses these requests.

Because I am not God.

He doesn't answer to me.

Or to you.

Or to Job.

Or to Abram.

Or to those who seemingly were born 20 years too early (or too late).

So what does God promise?

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

Freedom.

I need freedom from knowing.

I need freedom expecting God to tell me why he does.

I need freedom from the belief that my value is directly related to how well I can answer questions; internally and externally.

God can provide for himself, the rest of us our dependent. That reality is either the terror we will run from and hide from for the rest of our days or the freedom that will set us free.

Oh God, I need to be free.