Breath
An afternoon to myself or week off always sound great until I have them. Once they arrive, I generally feel tired, or frustrated or simply worthless. That's the hardest part, is feeling worthless. In high school when I was alone I usually felt like no one wanted me. I began to believe that my friends only hung out with me out of obligation. I thoroughly believed that they were off somewhere, with each other, counting their blessings they got away without me. It was as if when I was by myself, my sense of self would begin to decay. One minute I was a person, the next a zombie.
It would be nice if that ended in high school. It would be wonderful to pronounce that I went to college and found myself and now I always like what I see in the mirror. It would be nice. The reality though is a little tougher, a little messier. I did change a lot in college, but what I discovered was less of a "perfect self image pill" and more of an explanation. The truth is I don't really belong here. I never feel comfortable in my own skin because I am not really supposed to, at least not on my own. Scientists say that human bodies need oxygen to breathe, but I know that I need to be breathed on, in order to no longer decay.
I am not a Biblical scholar. I would estimate that I have read between 50-60% of the Bible and understood less than that. However, I have in my limited reading noticed patterns. Lately my favorite pattern is God breathing on people, and His breath producing life. When God created Adam, He started with clay and built what we would call a nice sculpture. God took dirt, added some spit, mixed it up and molded the first man. Their was a problem though, clay doesn't move, or think or feel. It just sits. Eventually it dries, and crumbles. It is not immune to decay. God does something amazing here though, He breathes on His clay-man and the clay-man lives! One breathe produces everything that we identify as uniquely human; awareness, love, humor, awe, life...all in one breath. This hardly the end though, if you go to Ezekiel 37, God takes His prophet (Ezekiel, hence the name of the book) and takes him to a valley of dried up nasty bones. Full decay in effect. So God tells Zeke, to ask the bones to live, and what do you know, they do. They form together; bones, flesh, muscle, hair all together and those bones become an imposing army. They only have one flaw, they are not actually alive. They simply stand like the Terra Catta (sp?) soldiers, imposing, but frozen. This new army seems doomed to fall back into decay. Then God commands Zeke to ask for God's breath to enter this army, and they also live like our clay friend. One more example, my fav. John 20 paints an interesting picture of the disciples, a picture of them cowering in a locked room hiding from Jews. You see about three days earlier their leader (Jesus) went and got Himself killed. So these disciples, after three years of constant moving around, miracle doing, teaching and praying took up a new vocation, decaying. In the midst of this mess, the risen Jesus appears before them. He doesn't yell or admonish them, instead He does exactly what God has always done, He breathe's on them. That day a church was born.
The last example is my favorite because I can relate with the pattern of living one minute, only to begin decaying the next. I know that when I try and do everything or nothing on my own I decay. I know that I was created to only exist with the breath of God bringing me life and keeping me going. So my prayer today is simple, that God would breathe on me, so that I may live and even have the ability to serve Him.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Extravagance
I own too much stuff. One of the most convicting things about getting married is seeing the sum total of two peoples crap piled up. It is even more disheartening when you realize that most of it is your own. Seriously, a bookshelf full of books, Over 200 CD's. not one, but two newer videogame systems, many DVD's, a computer, a car, golf clubs, a skateboard, about 5 frisbee's, and all sorts of other random stuff. I live an extravagant life, I shudder to think about how much money I have put into this meaningless stuff.
Do you want to know the sickest part of it? My happiest memories don't include ANY of it. My first mission trip was to China and I had two backpacks full of stuff. That's it. Four shirts, two pairs of pants, un-mentionables, a Bible and an unnecessary Game Boy. What I had though, was an amazing roommate named Han Jian Xian, a team full of supportive friends and the voice of God telling me this is what I was made for. It was the first time in my life I remember being happy for any sustained period of time. Not just laughing at the occasional joke, but happy. Giddy. Joyful. I was up late, then up early. I prayed. I studied. I spoke. I played. I taught. I listened. I had a reason to get up and face the day and saw a purpose greater than my own fulfillment. Isn't that real extravagance?
The next summer I was in Chicago. I packed similarly. What I didn't bring this time though was a team to be constantly around me (though I had friends in the area). Now here I was, in the inner city in an Mexican immigrant church. I was confused, frustrated by language concerns and constantly bombarded by kids from the Bible school I was assisting with. You know what? Joy. I loved La Villita. I love Marcos, Tiff and Pastor Vic like my own family. Jose' Luis was one of my closest friends and we never said a word the other could understand! I could've lived that summer with a fifth of the joy I was given. Instead I was given something more extravagant.
I refuse to believe that anyone expects too much from Jesus. Its impossible. Are issue is that expect too little. Christians reading this, too often we expect Jesus to be a nice entree' in the rest of our lives. We pray without expecting much to change. We go to church hoping to see people we like or sing songs that make us feel good. So we experience Jesus to the level we expect a good meal, a tasty dish once or twice a week. Too bad Jesus wants to give us so much more. He wants our lives to be epic, reckless, yes, extravagant stories of love, risk, persecution and joy. He created us to be used to change communities, colleges, and lives. We settle for prayers before bedtime. Oh, and TV's, Ninetendo's, DVD's and (in my case) the NFL. To my non-Christian friends reading this; I am sorry that too often I only show you what I settle for. I show you my petty disagreements and my new toys. I too expect too little from Jesus, I expect the meaningless days in my life to exceed the purposeful ones. I know better. I know better than to expect my extravagance of stuff to make my life complete. I know that everytime I look back at China or Chicago. If you ever decide to follow Jesus, expect Him to be a living God, He won't disappoint.
(I want to dedicate this post to my bride Donan. Marriage has served to be the most constant reminder that Jesus gives abundantly to His people. I never could've imagined any person to be a perfectly suited to love and challenge me as you are. I know that we would not be together without the grave and constant involvement of our Creator. Extravagance has never been so good.)
I own too much stuff. One of the most convicting things about getting married is seeing the sum total of two peoples crap piled up. It is even more disheartening when you realize that most of it is your own. Seriously, a bookshelf full of books, Over 200 CD's. not one, but two newer videogame systems, many DVD's, a computer, a car, golf clubs, a skateboard, about 5 frisbee's, and all sorts of other random stuff. I live an extravagant life, I shudder to think about how much money I have put into this meaningless stuff.
Do you want to know the sickest part of it? My happiest memories don't include ANY of it. My first mission trip was to China and I had two backpacks full of stuff. That's it. Four shirts, two pairs of pants, un-mentionables, a Bible and an unnecessary Game Boy. What I had though, was an amazing roommate named Han Jian Xian, a team full of supportive friends and the voice of God telling me this is what I was made for. It was the first time in my life I remember being happy for any sustained period of time. Not just laughing at the occasional joke, but happy. Giddy. Joyful. I was up late, then up early. I prayed. I studied. I spoke. I played. I taught. I listened. I had a reason to get up and face the day and saw a purpose greater than my own fulfillment. Isn't that real extravagance?
The next summer I was in Chicago. I packed similarly. What I didn't bring this time though was a team to be constantly around me (though I had friends in the area). Now here I was, in the inner city in an Mexican immigrant church. I was confused, frustrated by language concerns and constantly bombarded by kids from the Bible school I was assisting with. You know what? Joy. I loved La Villita. I love Marcos, Tiff and Pastor Vic like my own family. Jose' Luis was one of my closest friends and we never said a word the other could understand! I could've lived that summer with a fifth of the joy I was given. Instead I was given something more extravagant.
I refuse to believe that anyone expects too much from Jesus. Its impossible. Are issue is that expect too little. Christians reading this, too often we expect Jesus to be a nice entree' in the rest of our lives. We pray without expecting much to change. We go to church hoping to see people we like or sing songs that make us feel good. So we experience Jesus to the level we expect a good meal, a tasty dish once or twice a week. Too bad Jesus wants to give us so much more. He wants our lives to be epic, reckless, yes, extravagant stories of love, risk, persecution and joy. He created us to be used to change communities, colleges, and lives. We settle for prayers before bedtime. Oh, and TV's, Ninetendo's, DVD's and (in my case) the NFL. To my non-Christian friends reading this; I am sorry that too often I only show you what I settle for. I show you my petty disagreements and my new toys. I too expect too little from Jesus, I expect the meaningless days in my life to exceed the purposeful ones. I know better. I know better than to expect my extravagance of stuff to make my life complete. I know that everytime I look back at China or Chicago. If you ever decide to follow Jesus, expect Him to be a living God, He won't disappoint.
(I want to dedicate this post to my bride Donan. Marriage has served to be the most constant reminder that Jesus gives abundantly to His people. I never could've imagined any person to be a perfectly suited to love and challenge me as you are. I know that we would not be together without the grave and constant involvement of our Creator. Extravagance has never been so good.)
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Where do you go from the bottom?
I have a confession, I am a cynic. Some people are liberal, some conservative, some grumpy, some intellectual, me just cynical. Conspiracy theories, bring em on! A leader falling from grace, hey, I'll be then one thinking "I knew it!". In the last year my new favorite hobby has gone from doubting the "church" (whoever that really represents), to doubting politicians (yes, those are different on occasion). So it should come as no surprise that I posted almost an entire blog that was a love letter to Green Day, they are cynical of both institutions! Talk about love at first listen. One problem though, I am not punk rocker, protester, or anarchist, I am a Christian. More so, I actually work in ministry for a Christian organization. How do I reconcile these things, by trying to be a "hopeful realist". Let me try and explain.
Our world has issues. I am not sure how anyone can deny that. A minority of the people have the majority of the money. Issue. People die at the hands of someone else, thousands of times a day. Issue. Thousands more die, because they lack food. Or water. Or shelter. Issue, issue, issue! Add in rape, molestation, an environment choking under the weight of its population, racism and more additional issues than you care to read about. I feel justified as a cynic. I see these things and depending on my mood either roll my eyes, punch a wall, swear profusely or occasionally just sit in beaten silence. As if all of this crap wasn't enough, I occasionaly can see myself clearly enough to know that I lie when I am backed into a corner, am greedy with my money, am never satisfied with what I have and desire the very things that despise others for having. Basically I lack the opportunity, not the capacity to do the disgraceful acts listed above. So cynicism grows. As a result, I like artists who talk about the things I am cynical about. I like Green Day, because they don't like people dying. I like Green Day because they don't like materialistic Christians. I really like Sum 41 when they acknowledge all of our responsibility to our issue-y world (the song "We're All to Blame"). It's like these songs are written by me, if, of course I were a better writer.
End of story right? Wrong. As much sympathy as I have with these bands, I just can't throw my hat in with them. Not fully at least. I can't go to a doctor who is great at identifying symptoms, I need one who gets the disease. Green Day doesn't. Sum 41 doesn't. They are great observers, perhaps among the best that we have, but they have no answers. No next step. Nothing, except keen observations. They see the death, the materialism, the brokenness and have nothing to offer other than anger and shame. Well, I already have enough of those things! What I need is answers. But where do you find those? New leaders? Seems reasonable, abuse of power is the core of almost everything I listed above, but who can actually be trusted with power? Remember all that internal stuff I talked about? I am too cynical to believe that other people are that much better than me. Hey the most brilliant part of the US government is that no one is allowed unchecked power, and we've been trying to circumvent that since day one! Who can blame the cynic for quitting?
As a cynic, each day I have two choices, quit or have hope. That's it, two options. When I do manage to chose hope, I really only have one option of where to look and that is God. Seriously, where else can I turn? Green Day? Politics? Myself? Three strikes. So why is God not another strike? Well, I like Jesus' politics; give power away, take care of the poor, challenge the policy makers when they don't do these things. I like His theology; you try and do this without help and your screwed. And I love the power that is on display by giving us a fresh start and the promise to change us into people who can live for these principles. I see no other conclusion to the real problems we all see when we chose to look.
So I am a hopeful realist. I am way too cynical to ignore the realities that surround me, way too hopeful to just stew about it. As a result, I get frustrated by religious folk who refuse to be real and also frustrated (though way more sympathetic) for the cynics who choose to dwell in their own swill. Today I am choosing hope, because I want to see change and am way stoked that my God does as well.
I have a confession, I am a cynic. Some people are liberal, some conservative, some grumpy, some intellectual, me just cynical. Conspiracy theories, bring em on! A leader falling from grace, hey, I'll be then one thinking "I knew it!". In the last year my new favorite hobby has gone from doubting the "church" (whoever that really represents), to doubting politicians (yes, those are different on occasion). So it should come as no surprise that I posted almost an entire blog that was a love letter to Green Day, they are cynical of both institutions! Talk about love at first listen. One problem though, I am not punk rocker, protester, or anarchist, I am a Christian. More so, I actually work in ministry for a Christian organization. How do I reconcile these things, by trying to be a "hopeful realist". Let me try and explain.
Our world has issues. I am not sure how anyone can deny that. A minority of the people have the majority of the money. Issue. People die at the hands of someone else, thousands of times a day. Issue. Thousands more die, because they lack food. Or water. Or shelter. Issue, issue, issue! Add in rape, molestation, an environment choking under the weight of its population, racism and more additional issues than you care to read about. I feel justified as a cynic. I see these things and depending on my mood either roll my eyes, punch a wall, swear profusely or occasionally just sit in beaten silence. As if all of this crap wasn't enough, I occasionaly can see myself clearly enough to know that I lie when I am backed into a corner, am greedy with my money, am never satisfied with what I have and desire the very things that despise others for having. Basically I lack the opportunity, not the capacity to do the disgraceful acts listed above. So cynicism grows. As a result, I like artists who talk about the things I am cynical about. I like Green Day, because they don't like people dying. I like Green Day because they don't like materialistic Christians. I really like Sum 41 when they acknowledge all of our responsibility to our issue-y world (the song "We're All to Blame"). It's like these songs are written by me, if, of course I were a better writer.
End of story right? Wrong. As much sympathy as I have with these bands, I just can't throw my hat in with them. Not fully at least. I can't go to a doctor who is great at identifying symptoms, I need one who gets the disease. Green Day doesn't. Sum 41 doesn't. They are great observers, perhaps among the best that we have, but they have no answers. No next step. Nothing, except keen observations. They see the death, the materialism, the brokenness and have nothing to offer other than anger and shame. Well, I already have enough of those things! What I need is answers. But where do you find those? New leaders? Seems reasonable, abuse of power is the core of almost everything I listed above, but who can actually be trusted with power? Remember all that internal stuff I talked about? I am too cynical to believe that other people are that much better than me. Hey the most brilliant part of the US government is that no one is allowed unchecked power, and we've been trying to circumvent that since day one! Who can blame the cynic for quitting?
As a cynic, each day I have two choices, quit or have hope. That's it, two options. When I do manage to chose hope, I really only have one option of where to look and that is God. Seriously, where else can I turn? Green Day? Politics? Myself? Three strikes. So why is God not another strike? Well, I like Jesus' politics; give power away, take care of the poor, challenge the policy makers when they don't do these things. I like His theology; you try and do this without help and your screwed. And I love the power that is on display by giving us a fresh start and the promise to change us into people who can live for these principles. I see no other conclusion to the real problems we all see when we chose to look.
So I am a hopeful realist. I am way too cynical to ignore the realities that surround me, way too hopeful to just stew about it. As a result, I get frustrated by religious folk who refuse to be real and also frustrated (though way more sympathetic) for the cynics who choose to dwell in their own swill. Today I am choosing hope, because I want to see change and am way stoked that my God does as well.
Friday, August 12, 2005
My Radio is Haunted by Rush Limbaugh and Other Thoughts...
No real agenda to tonight's post, just a little bit of randomness while I am home alone...
Rush
He really is haunting my radio. I was at work today, enjoying listening to ESPN the radio and secretly thinking to myself how much better on the radio I am than Colin Cowherd, when Rush Limbaugh invades my feed. Sports talk, static, "Terrell Owens is awful", more static, then all Rush. Pot-shots at the liberal media, a lot of yelling and sarcasm, hey, even he attacked T.O.! It soon became too much, so I switched to another sports station and about five minutes in a little static and BOOM, Rush and I are chatting again. Exasperated, I start flipping though the channels and realize that he is on EVERY other channel. Which begs the question, is he actually this popular or does a mini warrior for conservatism live in the stereo at Tesoro? Regardless, the omni-present Rush was giving me a headache, so I turned to FM, which apparently is his Kryptonite, cause I never heard from him again. Take that you sports ruining media mogul!
Green Day
I finally bought American Idiot today. I love it. I really do. This is the first Green Day CD I have listened to that I can see myself still digging when I am old and grey and need to buy a new copy of it on DNA injection disc. Yes the CD is angry, but for the first time in along time a rock band seems to be angry about something (in this case American culture [yes more than just politics]). Specifically their main issue seems to be the "your with us or you are a supporter of evil and tyranny" rhetoric flying all over the American landscape today. They represent a lot of people who feel squeezed out and ignored in today's world climate. And they are angry not only at the US government, but also Christianity. Wait, I am a Christian, so I guess that means I really like an album by a group that is mad at me. Well, yeah. I actually think Billie Joe and company would really like Jesus, if they ever got to really meet Him. They have a lot in common, first of all the guts to speak up, but most of all, they both seem to have a special place in their hearts for those on the outskirts of society. You know, the angry and the hurt ones. So why aren't Christians (me included) producing music, art, sermons, articles, etc that are hitting resonant frequency like Green Day is? Its are question, but one this album keeps leaving me with. That's a good thing. Sample lyric:
Say what you will about contentious times that we live in, it has given the music scene a much needed kick in the butt. And I say "amen" to that.
Metal Gear Solid
Today I purchased the greatest game I have never played. Brought home, amazed at my luck to find it for five dollars. Quickly I unwrapped it, went to play it and realized that I needed a memory card that is no longer made in order to save it. You know how I felt? I felt like I was listening to sports radio and Rush Limbaugh just broke through a moment of static.
No real agenda to tonight's post, just a little bit of randomness while I am home alone...
Rush
He really is haunting my radio. I was at work today, enjoying listening to ESPN the radio and secretly thinking to myself how much better on the radio I am than Colin Cowherd, when Rush Limbaugh invades my feed. Sports talk, static, "Terrell Owens is awful", more static, then all Rush. Pot-shots at the liberal media, a lot of yelling and sarcasm, hey, even he attacked T.O.! It soon became too much, so I switched to another sports station and about five minutes in a little static and BOOM, Rush and I are chatting again. Exasperated, I start flipping though the channels and realize that he is on EVERY other channel. Which begs the question, is he actually this popular or does a mini warrior for conservatism live in the stereo at Tesoro? Regardless, the omni-present Rush was giving me a headache, so I turned to FM, which apparently is his Kryptonite, cause I never heard from him again. Take that you sports ruining media mogul!
Green Day
I finally bought American Idiot today. I love it. I really do. This is the first Green Day CD I have listened to that I can see myself still digging when I am old and grey and need to buy a new copy of it on DNA injection disc. Yes the CD is angry, but for the first time in along time a rock band seems to be angry about something (in this case American culture [yes more than just politics]). Specifically their main issue seems to be the "your with us or you are a supporter of evil and tyranny" rhetoric flying all over the American landscape today. They represent a lot of people who feel squeezed out and ignored in today's world climate. And they are angry not only at the US government, but also Christianity. Wait, I am a Christian, so I guess that means I really like an album by a group that is mad at me. Well, yeah. I actually think Billie Joe and company would really like Jesus, if they ever got to really meet Him. They have a lot in common, first of all the guts to speak up, but most of all, they both seem to have a special place in their hearts for those on the outskirts of society. You know, the angry and the hurt ones. So why aren't Christians (me included) producing music, art, sermons, articles, etc that are hitting resonant frequency like Green Day is? Its are question, but one this album keeps leaving me with. That's a good thing. Sample lyric:
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On Holiday
Hear the drum pounding out of time
Another protester has crossed the line
To find the money's on the other side
Can I get another Amen? Amen!
Now do I agree with every theme in the CD? No. But can I relate to feeling like I am fighting a losing battle, and that choosing in truth is a hell of a lot harder than following the majority? Every Christian should. This CD is reminding me that living for truth is hard, and that we are blindsided with lies, sales pitches and worthless compromises all of the time. But we choose whether to cross the line or not. Personally, I am praying for courage and endurance in work for the Kingdom, that resembles what is found in this opera, not because Green Day is right in all that they say, but because they have the courage to say it. So I know truth, what good is it, if I lack courage and endurance?
Oh, and the CD sounds awesome. Pure emotion is poured into every song, the rock opera style fits the content perfectly. Buy it. Listen to the Dookie boys grow up.Say what you will about contentious times that we live in, it has given the music scene a much needed kick in the butt. And I say "amen" to that.
Metal Gear Solid
Today I purchased the greatest game I have never played. Brought home, amazed at my luck to find it for five dollars. Quickly I unwrapped it, went to play it and realized that I needed a memory card that is no longer made in order to save it. You know how I felt? I felt like I was listening to sports radio and Rush Limbaugh just broke through a moment of static.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Finally the Rest of the Best...
I am not going to complain about any flags today, no today is the rest of the top five day. And there was much rejoicing. Yay.
Remember, this is the top five most influential people in my life that I have never actually met. So far it has been dominated by authors. So I will start with a songwriter:
3. Rich Mullins
I should first point out, I am not actually a huge fan of his music (though the Jesus Demos is absolutely amazing), what I am a fan of is the way that he lived his life. Here is a guy that ruled the Christian music scene for the better part of a decade. Many churches are still playing his music on a weekly basis. He sold many records, sold out many concerts and still lived like a normal human being. He took only the national average salary, he lived in a trailer, he still taught music to poor children, he chose to live on a Native American reservation. Wait a minute. He had all the success in the world and lived like this. He did not live like a normal man. He live BETTER.
I watched a video on Mullins life after my freshman year in college, while on leadership retreat in inner city Tacoma. I still doubted whether "real" Christians existed. We were studying Jesus' "Sermon on the Mount" (see Matthew chapters 5-7), the greatest ethical teaching found in scripture, and I had never seen anyone live this way. I was losing hope. Hope for my church, my friends and myself. I was ready to leave. Not just Tacoma, but InterVarsity and even my newfound faith. The video on Mullins (named "Homeless Man" by the way) gave me the hope that I was lacking. I have been on this project three times since. I have watched the video every time and I have gained a renewed hope every time. Watch the video. Listen to the Jesus Demos. Let God show you what is possible in Him.
4. John Eldridge
John Eldridge is an interesting name to have on my list because I often disagree with him. He's much more conservative than me. I don't think that I would raise my children the way he does (his boys seem a little out of control). Yet no author inspires me to action more than Eldridge.
Eldridge is the author of The Sacred Romance, Journey of Desire, Epic, Wild at Heart and many more. All of these books have different focus', yet they all are remarkably similar, they basically are about the reality that God calls is people into an abundant, exciting, heroic adventure. An adventure with romance, good and evil, and concrete beginning and end. Epic is the most recent book and perhaps the best. Eldridge breaks the entirety of scripture into a four part narrative. It is a brilliant way to remind the reader of the reality of our world, the world given to us by our Creator.
Eldridge has given me the permission to look at my own heart, and see the handprint of God. Why do I like comics? Why Star Wars? Why am I a romantic? Bigger questions; why is Lord of the Rings a cultural phenomenon? Why has every culture throughout history, created myths about heroic battles and struggles about justice? Because God is a warrior against evil. Because God created our hearts and our abilities to appreciate beauty, hate evil and step up for what we believe in. Eldridge sees the Bible as the most amazing and true story ever put to paper. He's right. And I thank him.
5. Martin Luther King Jr
MLK is a hard person to put on a list like this. He was obviously a great man. He obviously changed the world. But isn't he just PC person to put on a list? He would be, but something he wrote did actually change my life, let me explain.
When I was a freshman at WSU I took an Ethics class and loved it. It was ultimately why I became a philosophy major and was the first academic area I took to. As I continued in philosophy, I took many courses, but none held as much interest for me as my ethics classes. They just seemed to practical, so life changing and called so much of my own life into question. Along the way I read MLK's Letter from a Birmingham Jail. It was written to fellow clergyman who were calling his methods for peace into question. King's response was what every Christian needed to hear, being a Christian did not mean sitting and watching injustice saying to yourself "Oh, it will be so much better than heaven". King argued that he followed every legal route that the laws of the land had to offer, but when those laws are unjust, he would be willing to break those laws and follow God's law over that of the United States. This is the same law that prophets followed. This is the same law that Jesus followed. This is the same law that Paul followed. This was the law that the King lead Civil Rights Movement followed. And this is the law that all of us must follow in order to live ethically and to seek justice. King was a modern day Christian, leading a Christian movement, who's first responsibility was to his Lord. His second to his country. And wouldn't you know it, God used him to change the US and world for the better. All this in a philosophy class huh?
My list again (no particular order)
1. CS Lewis
2. Stan Lee
3. Rich Mullins
4. John Eldridge
5. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Again, I encourage others to send me their top five lists. I will post any that I receive. By doing this list I have been reminded about where I have come from, the questions I have wrestled with and the way that the invisible hand of Jesus has been their every step of the way with me. It's very therapeutic. I highly recommend it.
I am not going to complain about any flags today, no today is the rest of the top five day. And there was much rejoicing. Yay.
Remember, this is the top five most influential people in my life that I have never actually met. So far it has been dominated by authors. So I will start with a songwriter:
3. Rich Mullins
I should first point out, I am not actually a huge fan of his music (though the Jesus Demos is absolutely amazing), what I am a fan of is the way that he lived his life. Here is a guy that ruled the Christian music scene for the better part of a decade. Many churches are still playing his music on a weekly basis. He sold many records, sold out many concerts and still lived like a normal human being. He took only the national average salary, he lived in a trailer, he still taught music to poor children, he chose to live on a Native American reservation. Wait a minute. He had all the success in the world and lived like this. He did not live like a normal man. He live BETTER.
I watched a video on Mullins life after my freshman year in college, while on leadership retreat in inner city Tacoma. I still doubted whether "real" Christians existed. We were studying Jesus' "Sermon on the Mount" (see Matthew chapters 5-7), the greatest ethical teaching found in scripture, and I had never seen anyone live this way. I was losing hope. Hope for my church, my friends and myself. I was ready to leave. Not just Tacoma, but InterVarsity and even my newfound faith. The video on Mullins (named "Homeless Man" by the way) gave me the hope that I was lacking. I have been on this project three times since. I have watched the video every time and I have gained a renewed hope every time. Watch the video. Listen to the Jesus Demos. Let God show you what is possible in Him.
4. John Eldridge
John Eldridge is an interesting name to have on my list because I often disagree with him. He's much more conservative than me. I don't think that I would raise my children the way he does (his boys seem a little out of control). Yet no author inspires me to action more than Eldridge.
Eldridge is the author of The Sacred Romance, Journey of Desire, Epic, Wild at Heart and many more. All of these books have different focus', yet they all are remarkably similar, they basically are about the reality that God calls is people into an abundant, exciting, heroic adventure. An adventure with romance, good and evil, and concrete beginning and end. Epic is the most recent book and perhaps the best. Eldridge breaks the entirety of scripture into a four part narrative. It is a brilliant way to remind the reader of the reality of our world, the world given to us by our Creator.
Eldridge has given me the permission to look at my own heart, and see the handprint of God. Why do I like comics? Why Star Wars? Why am I a romantic? Bigger questions; why is Lord of the Rings a cultural phenomenon? Why has every culture throughout history, created myths about heroic battles and struggles about justice? Because God is a warrior against evil. Because God created our hearts and our abilities to appreciate beauty, hate evil and step up for what we believe in. Eldridge sees the Bible as the most amazing and true story ever put to paper. He's right. And I thank him.
5. Martin Luther King Jr
MLK is a hard person to put on a list like this. He was obviously a great man. He obviously changed the world. But isn't he just PC person to put on a list? He would be, but something he wrote did actually change my life, let me explain.
When I was a freshman at WSU I took an Ethics class and loved it. It was ultimately why I became a philosophy major and was the first academic area I took to. As I continued in philosophy, I took many courses, but none held as much interest for me as my ethics classes. They just seemed to practical, so life changing and called so much of my own life into question. Along the way I read MLK's Letter from a Birmingham Jail. It was written to fellow clergyman who were calling his methods for peace into question. King's response was what every Christian needed to hear, being a Christian did not mean sitting and watching injustice saying to yourself "Oh, it will be so much better than heaven". King argued that he followed every legal route that the laws of the land had to offer, but when those laws are unjust, he would be willing to break those laws and follow God's law over that of the United States. This is the same law that prophets followed. This is the same law that Jesus followed. This is the same law that Paul followed. This was the law that the King lead Civil Rights Movement followed. And this is the law that all of us must follow in order to live ethically and to seek justice. King was a modern day Christian, leading a Christian movement, who's first responsibility was to his Lord. His second to his country. And wouldn't you know it, God used him to change the US and world for the better. All this in a philosophy class huh?
My list again (no particular order)
1. CS Lewis
2. Stan Lee
3. Rich Mullins
4. John Eldridge
5. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Again, I encourage others to send me their top five lists. I will post any that I receive. By doing this list I have been reminded about where I have come from, the questions I have wrestled with and the way that the invisible hand of Jesus has been their every step of the way with me. It's very therapeutic. I highly recommend it.
Friday, August 05, 2005
What's in a Flag?
I am not sure what makes me more excited to see The Dukes of Hazzard movie, Stifler and Johnny Knoxville together at last, the acting debut of the soulful crooner that is Jessica Simpson, or car chases, car chases and more car chases. It's a Duke's movie, it has to be all about that car. The car will be out running pokey's, jumping over bridges and glistening in the sun like only that orange beauty can. The big V-8 engine, the classic car body and of course the big Confederate flag on the roof. What? A friggin Confederate flag?!!
For the life of me, I cannot figure out our nation's fixation with that flag. I see it on bandannas, as window stickers, as tattoos and in some rare cases, blowing in the wind on capitol buildings (Georgia, until a couple of years ago). Now call me naive, but didn't the Confederacy lose? Now call me crazy, but isn't that a good things for everyone in this country (especially if your skin isn't milky white)? Now stop calling me names, and really stop with the flag already!
I am not historically illiterate enough to break the Civil War down as simply as "the North was fighting for the freedom of slave, while the South was fighting to keep slaves" (even though this is exactly how it was presented to me in High School). I know that there was competition between North and South economically and socially. I know that the South felt under-represented and under-appreciated. I know that Honest Abe freed the slaves for as much as a political slap to the South as an act of conscience. However, I also know that there was a war that divided this country and one side had a law ABOLISHING the institution of slavery, while the other seemed a long, long way away from such a law. So as a result, a funny thing happens when I see the Confederate flag, I see racism. I see murder. I see destroyed families. I see a divided nation. I hear things too (maybe it's time for my check-up?). I hear "they ain't really human after all", "They're just a bunch of savages", "Who really cares about the niggers anyway?". And those things make me angry. From content to angry in 1 second and all it takes is one flag.
The US legacy in race relations is really poor. From slavery, to Jim Crowe, to "separate but equal", to the Dixiecrats. Our nation has been broken by racism. It still is. This is why our neighborhoods are separated, our churches are separated, our upper class remains white and why middle America doesn't like Allen Iverson. It's also why the Confederate flag still waves. I don't claim to be without faults. I have said many racist things. I have feared the "other" as much as anyone else. I still battle a desire to stick to "where I belong". But I choose to say no to that. I pray for the strength to not be ruled by my fears. Our legacy is poor, we cannot forget that, but we can choose to stop celebrating it.
(numbers 3-5 on my top five are still coming, I just woke up this morning with this on my heart)
I am not sure what makes me more excited to see The Dukes of Hazzard movie, Stifler and Johnny Knoxville together at last, the acting debut of the soulful crooner that is Jessica Simpson, or car chases, car chases and more car chases. It's a Duke's movie, it has to be all about that car. The car will be out running pokey's, jumping over bridges and glistening in the sun like only that orange beauty can. The big V-8 engine, the classic car body and of course the big Confederate flag on the roof. What? A friggin Confederate flag?!!
For the life of me, I cannot figure out our nation's fixation with that flag. I see it on bandannas, as window stickers, as tattoos and in some rare cases, blowing in the wind on capitol buildings (Georgia, until a couple of years ago). Now call me naive, but didn't the Confederacy lose? Now call me crazy, but isn't that a good things for everyone in this country (especially if your skin isn't milky white)? Now stop calling me names, and really stop with the flag already!
I am not historically illiterate enough to break the Civil War down as simply as "the North was fighting for the freedom of slave, while the South was fighting to keep slaves" (even though this is exactly how it was presented to me in High School). I know that there was competition between North and South economically and socially. I know that the South felt under-represented and under-appreciated. I know that Honest Abe freed the slaves for as much as a political slap to the South as an act of conscience. However, I also know that there was a war that divided this country and one side had a law ABOLISHING the institution of slavery, while the other seemed a long, long way away from such a law. So as a result, a funny thing happens when I see the Confederate flag, I see racism. I see murder. I see destroyed families. I see a divided nation. I hear things too (maybe it's time for my check-up?). I hear "they ain't really human after all", "They're just a bunch of savages", "Who really cares about the niggers anyway?". And those things make me angry. From content to angry in 1 second and all it takes is one flag.
The US legacy in race relations is really poor. From slavery, to Jim Crowe, to "separate but equal", to the Dixiecrats. Our nation has been broken by racism. It still is. This is why our neighborhoods are separated, our churches are separated, our upper class remains white and why middle America doesn't like Allen Iverson. It's also why the Confederate flag still waves. I don't claim to be without faults. I have said many racist things. I have feared the "other" as much as anyone else. I still battle a desire to stick to "where I belong". But I choose to say no to that. I pray for the strength to not be ruled by my fears. Our legacy is poor, we cannot forget that, but we can choose to stop celebrating it.
(numbers 3-5 on my top five are still coming, I just woke up this morning with this on my heart)
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Top Five
Has anyone seen/read High Fidelity? It is one of my favorite books and movies, excellent all around an extremely accurate peek into the male brain. Most importantly though are the top five lists. I love top five lists, I will give you a top five for anything, movies, pizza toppings, songs, 80's cartoons, track one side ones... you ask I will list. I am not sure we as people feel the need to rank everything, and why five, or ten seem like the perfect numbers, but that's the way that it is.
Below I will do a top five list on the people that have most inspired me. A couple of rules though; 1) these are not going to be people I actually have met. While my parents have obviously done more to shape me than anyone on this list, it's just too easy and not very interesting for you, the reader. 2) this is list, like any other top five list I will ever do, is not definitive. I am a work in progress, thus my lists must be to. 3) This list is in no particular order.
I should also point out that this idea came from hanging out with some friends Jacob and Sue. Jacob asked for my list after telling us about Soul Survivor, a book by Phillip Yancy about this very topic. In the immortal words of Marvin Gaye "Let's get it on"!
1. CS Lewis
So a good general rule when doing a top five list is to start with a safe pick. The old professor qualifies as this. The man was an absolute genius, possibly the greatest Christian writer not in The Book (you know the book I am talking about). He can actually communicate the words of Jesus in a way few others can.
The list (within the list) Mere Chistianity- The greatest Christian book for non-Christians EVER. Screwtape Letters- Who knew the professor could be have such insight into evil. The uncle/nephew demon book opened my eyes to the spiritual world that I had to acknowledge when I became the Christian. The Great Divorce- A terrific allegory and as convicting as anything I have ever read. The first author that I ever read that showed a level of INDIVIDUAL responsibility when it comes to heaven and hell. The people from hell, didn't like heaven, because they loved themselves more than God. It seems so simple. But who else ever wrote it down?
I have to give special mention to the Chronicles of Narnia. My favorite books when I was a kid and had no idea that they were an allegory for the Christian life. They are so rich. The world Lewis creates at the same time is the world of scripture and the world we want to live in. It has hero's, villains, adventures, beauty (not to mention the only place that animals speak outside of an LSD trip). Besides my favorite seen in ANY piece of literature is Aslan (the Christ like lion) removing the dragon scales for Eustice. God removing our crap is hard. It hurts. It can't be done right unless it's deep. But it's the only way. This out of a kid's book.
Lewis also gets props for the way he converted. Years of study. Of argument. Of studying all of the religions of the world. It all led to one conclusion, this only works with a savior. So what does he do after converting? Oh, he just goes and writes books about the things that are hardest for him to deal with. Miracles are hard for a sensible professor to buy. Step 1; wrestle with God. Step 2; write a friggin book defending the essential role of miracle to the gospel. Genius+stubbornness+God's presence= essential books on faith that have changed me in so many ways.
2. Stan Lee
If you know who Stan Lee is you are laughing at me right now. If you don't you are just confused. Stan Lee is the single most influential person in the history of comic books. Here is a short list of the books that he co-created; Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Hulk, X-Men, Daredevil, Iron Man, Captain America, Avengers. Oh there are more, but I am done typing. His nickname is "Stan the Man", I hope you now know why.
It must be said though that it is not the amount of characters he has created that makes him great. It was the kind of characters that he created and the worlds that they inhabited that makes him "the man". First of all, location. These characters are not from Metropolis, or Gothom City, or Smallville. They are mostly from New York. Our world, with all of our problems. Unlike other comic authors of his era (the 60's by the way), Lee didn't want his books to exist fantastical places, he wanted his villains and heroes to inhabited our world. This seems subtle, but it is one of just many ways that his characters seem to accessible. Another way are the heroes themselves.
Look at Spider-Man. Spidey is a kid named Peter Parker. Peter is a nerd. He looks like a nerd. He acts like a nerd (especially around women). He has no muscles. He is constantly broke. His parents are dead. His uncle is dead (partially because of Peter's wrong-doing). He is constantly struggling to maintain his own life, with his heroic responsibilities, in fact his powers are often more of burden than a gift. Nobody wrote like that before Stan Lee. Stan Lee is not only "the man" because he writes a good nerd. He is "the man" because he has the ability to package the world into insanely keen allegories that reveal many hard truths. Look at the X-Men.
The X-Men were born in the sixties. The US was going through more changes than a fourteen year old boy. One of these was the Civil Rights Movement. So unless your high school skipped teaching about the Civil Rights Movement, I shouldn't have to go into much detail. Martin Luther King Jr, Malcolm X, separate but Equal, Rosa Parks, JFK, protests, jailings, Birmingham, street wars, etc, etc etc. Stan Lee saw all of this and started writing a comic book.
Skeptical? Look at the facts. In the X-Men the world (remember, our world) is trying to deal with mutants, and their desire for rights. Mutants it seems are like regular people, some are good, some our bad. Unfortunately the bad ones can fly and make things explode. Also unfortunate, humans have had the world to themselves for a long time and don't really want to share it with their new co-inhabitors. "What if they take over?", "What if they move into my neighborhood?", "Who will protect my children", "What do we do with these mutants?". The world (again, our world) is torn in two trying to figure out what to do with these mutants. In the midst of this struggle to dynamic leaders emerge; Professor X and Magneto. Professor X (or Charles Xavier) and his followers, have a dream (I swear, this is right out of the books). They dream of a co-inhabited world, where mutants and humans live in peace. Where they respect each other. Engage in debate and work with each other to better this world. Magneto once shared this dream with his old friend Xavier. However little things like living through a Concentration Camp, seeing mutants arrested just for existing, being verbally attacked and labeled a "freak" shattered his dream. So his dream was adjusted. Humans are obviously inferior to mutants, thus it was time for mutants to rule and for humans to cower and hide and pretend they were something they were not. Two gifted individuals, the same injustice, two different responses that both seem reasonable. If you aren't seeing King and Malcolm X yet, then I need to work on my writing.
Lee understood that in order to write compelling stories he didn't need to imagine far away places and characters. He simply needed to open his eyes to the realities surrounding him. X-Men has spent the last 40 years telling stories of predjudice, justice, mercy and hope for a better tomorrow. Xavier's and MLK's dream are still being written about and fought for. They also still strike a chord in generation after generation of readers. It did for me when I was young and still inspires me now. I want to do what Lee did. No, not write comic books, but be able to communicate our most fundamental truths in accessible ways. To create worlds where are our battles our fought, in order to teach us how to fight in our own world.
Coming soon 3-5.
PS If you want to send me your lists, I will post them right here, for all of the world...er, my friends to read.
Has anyone seen/read High Fidelity? It is one of my favorite books and movies, excellent all around an extremely accurate peek into the male brain. Most importantly though are the top five lists. I love top five lists, I will give you a top five for anything, movies, pizza toppings, songs, 80's cartoons, track one side ones... you ask I will list. I am not sure we as people feel the need to rank everything, and why five, or ten seem like the perfect numbers, but that's the way that it is.
Below I will do a top five list on the people that have most inspired me. A couple of rules though; 1) these are not going to be people I actually have met. While my parents have obviously done more to shape me than anyone on this list, it's just too easy and not very interesting for you, the reader. 2) this is list, like any other top five list I will ever do, is not definitive. I am a work in progress, thus my lists must be to. 3) This list is in no particular order.
I should also point out that this idea came from hanging out with some friends Jacob and Sue. Jacob asked for my list after telling us about Soul Survivor, a book by Phillip Yancy about this very topic. In the immortal words of Marvin Gaye "Let's get it on"!
1. CS Lewis
So a good general rule when doing a top five list is to start with a safe pick. The old professor qualifies as this. The man was an absolute genius, possibly the greatest Christian writer not in The Book (you know the book I am talking about). He can actually communicate the words of Jesus in a way few others can.
The list (within the list) Mere Chistianity- The greatest Christian book for non-Christians EVER. Screwtape Letters- Who knew the professor could be have such insight into evil. The uncle/nephew demon book opened my eyes to the spiritual world that I had to acknowledge when I became the Christian. The Great Divorce- A terrific allegory and as convicting as anything I have ever read. The first author that I ever read that showed a level of INDIVIDUAL responsibility when it comes to heaven and hell. The people from hell, didn't like heaven, because they loved themselves more than God. It seems so simple. But who else ever wrote it down?
I have to give special mention to the Chronicles of Narnia. My favorite books when I was a kid and had no idea that they were an allegory for the Christian life. They are so rich. The world Lewis creates at the same time is the world of scripture and the world we want to live in. It has hero's, villains, adventures, beauty (not to mention the only place that animals speak outside of an LSD trip). Besides my favorite seen in ANY piece of literature is Aslan (the Christ like lion) removing the dragon scales for Eustice. God removing our crap is hard. It hurts. It can't be done right unless it's deep. But it's the only way. This out of a kid's book.
Lewis also gets props for the way he converted. Years of study. Of argument. Of studying all of the religions of the world. It all led to one conclusion, this only works with a savior. So what does he do after converting? Oh, he just goes and writes books about the things that are hardest for him to deal with. Miracles are hard for a sensible professor to buy. Step 1; wrestle with God. Step 2; write a friggin book defending the essential role of miracle to the gospel. Genius+stubbornness+God's presence= essential books on faith that have changed me in so many ways.
2. Stan Lee
If you know who Stan Lee is you are laughing at me right now. If you don't you are just confused. Stan Lee is the single most influential person in the history of comic books. Here is a short list of the books that he co-created; Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Hulk, X-Men, Daredevil, Iron Man, Captain America, Avengers. Oh there are more, but I am done typing. His nickname is "Stan the Man", I hope you now know why.
It must be said though that it is not the amount of characters he has created that makes him great. It was the kind of characters that he created and the worlds that they inhabited that makes him "the man". First of all, location. These characters are not from Metropolis, or Gothom City, or Smallville. They are mostly from New York. Our world, with all of our problems. Unlike other comic authors of his era (the 60's by the way), Lee didn't want his books to exist fantastical places, he wanted his villains and heroes to inhabited our world. This seems subtle, but it is one of just many ways that his characters seem to accessible. Another way are the heroes themselves.
Look at Spider-Man. Spidey is a kid named Peter Parker. Peter is a nerd. He looks like a nerd. He acts like a nerd (especially around women). He has no muscles. He is constantly broke. His parents are dead. His uncle is dead (partially because of Peter's wrong-doing). He is constantly struggling to maintain his own life, with his heroic responsibilities, in fact his powers are often more of burden than a gift. Nobody wrote like that before Stan Lee. Stan Lee is not only "the man" because he writes a good nerd. He is "the man" because he has the ability to package the world into insanely keen allegories that reveal many hard truths. Look at the X-Men.
The X-Men were born in the sixties. The US was going through more changes than a fourteen year old boy. One of these was the Civil Rights Movement. So unless your high school skipped teaching about the Civil Rights Movement, I shouldn't have to go into much detail. Martin Luther King Jr, Malcolm X, separate but Equal, Rosa Parks, JFK, protests, jailings, Birmingham, street wars, etc, etc etc. Stan Lee saw all of this and started writing a comic book.
Skeptical? Look at the facts. In the X-Men the world (remember, our world) is trying to deal with mutants, and their desire for rights. Mutants it seems are like regular people, some are good, some our bad. Unfortunately the bad ones can fly and make things explode. Also unfortunate, humans have had the world to themselves for a long time and don't really want to share it with their new co-inhabitors. "What if they take over?", "What if they move into my neighborhood?", "Who will protect my children", "What do we do with these mutants?". The world (again, our world) is torn in two trying to figure out what to do with these mutants. In the midst of this struggle to dynamic leaders emerge; Professor X and Magneto. Professor X (or Charles Xavier) and his followers, have a dream (I swear, this is right out of the books). They dream of a co-inhabited world, where mutants and humans live in peace. Where they respect each other. Engage in debate and work with each other to better this world. Magneto once shared this dream with his old friend Xavier. However little things like living through a Concentration Camp, seeing mutants arrested just for existing, being verbally attacked and labeled a "freak" shattered his dream. So his dream was adjusted. Humans are obviously inferior to mutants, thus it was time for mutants to rule and for humans to cower and hide and pretend they were something they were not. Two gifted individuals, the same injustice, two different responses that both seem reasonable. If you aren't seeing King and Malcolm X yet, then I need to work on my writing.
Lee understood that in order to write compelling stories he didn't need to imagine far away places and characters. He simply needed to open his eyes to the realities surrounding him. X-Men has spent the last 40 years telling stories of predjudice, justice, mercy and hope for a better tomorrow. Xavier's and MLK's dream are still being written about and fought for. They also still strike a chord in generation after generation of readers. It did for me when I was young and still inspires me now. I want to do what Lee did. No, not write comic books, but be able to communicate our most fundamental truths in accessible ways. To create worlds where are our battles our fought, in order to teach us how to fight in our own world.
Coming soon 3-5.
PS If you want to send me your lists, I will post them right here, for all of the world...er, my friends to read.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Time
"For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven"
-Ecclesiastes 3:1
My least favorite question to answer; "So what's been up with you lately?". How am I supposed to answer that? What is this person really looking for? I can give a list of things, though I will be the first to admit, that list will hardly be exciting ("got a cat, went grocery shopping, watched a movie, huh, did I mention the cat?"). Or I could actually unbear my soul, which in my experience few people are actually looking for. Give me specifics, I say, because right now, I am not sure that I actually have the capacity for vague.
So why this little rant? Well I will give you the short answer first, I have a lot of emailing and calling to do. I am very behind on the simple art of communicating with my friends. I slightly intimidating place to be. Emailing maybe the worst. In one email I want to communicate everything that is going on, all the surfacy stuff and all the internal struggles. Oh and my pride wants to of course do this while still looking good. That is really the killer. I still want to appear to have it all together. So I write emails, that technically have nothing that can be called a "lie", but is still miles away from honest. The more behind I get, the more I feel this tension.
Of course the above is simply the surface, the more core stuff really goes something like this; is my life really interesting enough to talk about? I mean, I live the same place I have for the last six years. I am still volunteering with InterVarsity and working at a gas station. It's true that I just got married, which I love, but find very difficult to explain to people. Living with someone you love is great and also a huge adjustment. The problem is though, the more that I fall in love with my home life with Donan, the more I long for more in my daily life. The fact is, I miss school. I miss creating things, even if they are only essays. I miss the radio show I did with friends. My life feels a lot like a trailer for a movie; "Coming soon, Jeremiah gets on staff with InterVarsity, finds a creative output, and stops talking about justice issues, to do something about them". Great, but I still feel a little stuck in neutral.
I quoted Ecclesiastes earlier because I know that it is true. I know that life has many seasons and that this is one of them. Just like going to Chicago was a season. Or China another one. However, its hard not to wonder sometimes if I missed an on-ramp that Jesus gave me. Or that the way I feel now isn't the weather changing, if I can beat the death out of the seasonal analogy. Or, most likely I still have a lot to learn about patience and endurance.
So how am I doing? Well, like everyone else I am stuck between where I was and where I am going. That's kind of hard. It's difficult not to look back and think that was the ideal, or not paint the future out to be some kind of celebration of all of my desires. Something is getting shook up in my soul. So I'll take that.
Check your inbox. I really will be writing soon.
"For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven"
-Ecclesiastes 3:1
My least favorite question to answer; "So what's been up with you lately?". How am I supposed to answer that? What is this person really looking for? I can give a list of things, though I will be the first to admit, that list will hardly be exciting ("got a cat, went grocery shopping, watched a movie, huh, did I mention the cat?"). Or I could actually unbear my soul, which in my experience few people are actually looking for. Give me specifics, I say, because right now, I am not sure that I actually have the capacity for vague.
So why this little rant? Well I will give you the short answer first, I have a lot of emailing and calling to do. I am very behind on the simple art of communicating with my friends. I slightly intimidating place to be. Emailing maybe the worst. In one email I want to communicate everything that is going on, all the surfacy stuff and all the internal struggles. Oh and my pride wants to of course do this while still looking good. That is really the killer. I still want to appear to have it all together. So I write emails, that technically have nothing that can be called a "lie", but is still miles away from honest. The more behind I get, the more I feel this tension.
Of course the above is simply the surface, the more core stuff really goes something like this; is my life really interesting enough to talk about? I mean, I live the same place I have for the last six years. I am still volunteering with InterVarsity and working at a gas station. It's true that I just got married, which I love, but find very difficult to explain to people. Living with someone you love is great and also a huge adjustment. The problem is though, the more that I fall in love with my home life with Donan, the more I long for more in my daily life. The fact is, I miss school. I miss creating things, even if they are only essays. I miss the radio show I did with friends. My life feels a lot like a trailer for a movie; "Coming soon, Jeremiah gets on staff with InterVarsity, finds a creative output, and stops talking about justice issues, to do something about them". Great, but I still feel a little stuck in neutral.
I quoted Ecclesiastes earlier because I know that it is true. I know that life has many seasons and that this is one of them. Just like going to Chicago was a season. Or China another one. However, its hard not to wonder sometimes if I missed an on-ramp that Jesus gave me. Or that the way I feel now isn't the weather changing, if I can beat the death out of the seasonal analogy. Or, most likely I still have a lot to learn about patience and endurance.
So how am I doing? Well, like everyone else I am stuck between where I was and where I am going. That's kind of hard. It's difficult not to look back and think that was the ideal, or not paint the future out to be some kind of celebration of all of my desires. Something is getting shook up in my soul. So I'll take that.
Check your inbox. I really will be writing soon.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Observation
This should be a fairly short and pointed post. I am a huge baseball fan, watch it when I can, listen to it almost everyday and check boxscores every morning. A couple of days ago my beloved Mariners called up a minor leaguer named Yuniesky Betancourt. Betancourt is Cuban and two years ago fled Cuba on a raft to flee to the US, where he staged an open try out and eventually was signed by the Mariners. The first pitch he saw as a Mariner he smoked all the way to the wall for a triple. The fans gave him a standing ovation, the announcers talked about the what a perfect start for his career this hit was.
I was shocked by the hypocrisy of it all.
Don't get me wrong. I was stoked for Betancourt, just like I was excited to see fellow refugee Livan Hernandez win a World Series a few year back, or see Jose' Contreres reunited with his family last year. What I am shocked (and angered by) is the way we cheer these athletes "heroic" sacrifices, yet ignore other acts of heroism in our country. Most of these ballplayers arrive in rafts with dozens of people, who can't swing a bat or throw a ball. We never hear from these people again, until they become a rant about being a drag on our economy.
This is not the only example. Last offseason, the Mariners signed the "Mexican Greg Maddox" (his name escapes me at the moment". While he apparently is not a hero, he sure got a visa quickly (though US immigration frustrated the Mariners when his visa was a few days late, delaying his arrival to spring training). Someday he will pitch for the Mariners and his acceptance will not fall across party lines, but instead will depend on his slider. Millions of Mexicans cross the border not for a fat baseball contract, but instead to harvest US food, or work on US homes, or in US meat packing plants. They are cursed, deported and are accused of stealing "our" jobs.
More than 26% of all Major League is Latino (See Street and Smith's business journal). This number will continue to grow. Johan Santana is the American Leagues best pitcher, Albert Puljos is baseball's best hitter, Manny Ramirez is not far behind. If we can root for them, if we can call them hero's, then why not use that term to describe a dad who immigrates to give his children a better life? Or a mom who clean's toilets, so her children can have a better education? America, our pastime beat us by twenty years on the civil right movement (see Robinson, Jackie), how far ahead is it on immigrant rights?
(ps. I very well may of misspelled many names here. I was checking with MLB.com for awhile, but got sick of it. Sorry)
This should be a fairly short and pointed post. I am a huge baseball fan, watch it when I can, listen to it almost everyday and check boxscores every morning. A couple of days ago my beloved Mariners called up a minor leaguer named Yuniesky Betancourt. Betancourt is Cuban and two years ago fled Cuba on a raft to flee to the US, where he staged an open try out and eventually was signed by the Mariners. The first pitch he saw as a Mariner he smoked all the way to the wall for a triple. The fans gave him a standing ovation, the announcers talked about the what a perfect start for his career this hit was.
I was shocked by the hypocrisy of it all.
Don't get me wrong. I was stoked for Betancourt, just like I was excited to see fellow refugee Livan Hernandez win a World Series a few year back, or see Jose' Contreres reunited with his family last year. What I am shocked (and angered by) is the way we cheer these athletes "heroic" sacrifices, yet ignore other acts of heroism in our country. Most of these ballplayers arrive in rafts with dozens of people, who can't swing a bat or throw a ball. We never hear from these people again, until they become a rant about being a drag on our economy.
This is not the only example. Last offseason, the Mariners signed the "Mexican Greg Maddox" (his name escapes me at the moment". While he apparently is not a hero, he sure got a visa quickly (though US immigration frustrated the Mariners when his visa was a few days late, delaying his arrival to spring training). Someday he will pitch for the Mariners and his acceptance will not fall across party lines, but instead will depend on his slider. Millions of Mexicans cross the border not for a fat baseball contract, but instead to harvest US food, or work on US homes, or in US meat packing plants. They are cursed, deported and are accused of stealing "our" jobs.
More than 26% of all Major League is Latino (See Street and Smith's business journal). This number will continue to grow. Johan Santana is the American Leagues best pitcher, Albert Puljos is baseball's best hitter, Manny Ramirez is not far behind. If we can root for them, if we can call them hero's, then why not use that term to describe a dad who immigrates to give his children a better life? Or a mom who clean's toilets, so her children can have a better education? America, our pastime beat us by twenty years on the civil right movement (see Robinson, Jackie), how far ahead is it on immigrant rights?
(ps. I very well may of misspelled many names here. I was checking with MLB.com for awhile, but got sick of it. Sorry)
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
Daredevil
I probably should warn you now, I am going to write a lot about movies, comics, sports and politics, with a dash of amateur theology just to make things a little spicy. This blog is mostly going to cover movies, comics and maybe a little politics (though I make no promises).
Daredevil is a great comic book character. For those of you who are not "in the know", Daredevil is a actually a blind attorney named Matt Murdock. Some of you might be asking "a blind superhero? How is that possible?" (the rest of you are asking, "don't I have something better to do with my time?"). Well young Matthew, was blinded by radioactive gunk in the eyes, which while blinding him, enhanced all of his other senses and allowed him to "see" echoes and vibrations (amazingly enough he was not given cancer or infertility). In addition to the whole blinding, Matt was raised by a washed up prized fighter, who was later killed during his comeback for not throwing a fight...Think "Cinderella Man" only a lot sadder. So Matt was left to fend for himself in Hell's Kitchen, NY.
Tragic story, huh? Well it gets a little better. Matt ends up being a great student and is able to rise above his tough upbringing to go to college. Then law school. Then pass the bar and become an actual lawyer in, you guessed it, Hell's Kitchen, where he opens a practice specifically designed to defend the poorest of the poor in one of New York's roughest areas. Oh, and when he can't beat the bad guys in the court room, he does it on the street while wearing a red suit with horns as Daredevil (did I mention that he is your classic tortured Catholic?). Really I would recommend reading Frank Miller's "Man Without Fear" graphic novel, it tells this origin better than I ever will. I would lend you my copy, but you might bend the pages.
Now I am going to begin talking about the movie, I will spoil the poop out of it. I am guessing though that if you wanted to see it, you would've made time to in the last two years. I enjoyed the movie. A lot of people didn't. For fans, they changed too much. For non-fans, the effects were cheesy. For Ben Affleck haters, it had Ben Affleck in it. But hey, I was a casual Daredevil fan when I saw it and I got to see it on Valentine's day with Donan (I love you honey!). Sure the action had too much wire work, and Elektra (Matt Murdock's doomed girlfriend) was as much a star as the movies namesake, but whatever it was fun and I dug the darker vibe of the movie.
Then the Director's Cut DVD came out.
I will now spit on the theatrical cut of the movie...
HHHHHHHWWWWWWAKKKKKKKKKKK........PLOOOOEEYYYYY!
Usually DC's (as you can see I am abbreviating "Director's Cut" because it takes too long to type) are not better. In fact they are usually reserved for making PG-13 movies, R movies by adding a sex scene. Typically they should be called "Director's Smut". Daredevil is the exception to that rule. This DC is a completely different vision for the movie and a vision that from where I am sitting calls into question are societal values.
Daredevil at his very core is a justice driven character. He has no interest in saving the world. He doesn't fight aliens or mutants or sea monsters, he fights crime. He fights criminals. He fights corrupt social institutions. For this reason his villains are often thugs, murderer's, rapists and of course the "Kingpin of crime" (think Al Capone, but only much, much fatter). Kingpin is a crimelord. He doesn't the control the world, or even the US, he wants to make a lot of money off of the weakest members of our society. You know, the people Daredevil fights for. In the theatrical cut of the movie you see these two as adversaries as well, they even fight at the end of the movie and Kingpin goes to jail. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that is that they are fighting because Kingpin killed Matt's father and girlfriend (Elektra), NOT because he is destroying Matt's home and his people. The DC changes this whole dynamic, and in turn the entire movie.
Remember Coolio? "Fantastic Voyage"? "Gangsta's Paradise"? That Coolio. He can act. Really. He's even in "Daredevil". Did you see him? The answer is no, because his entire character in cut from the movie. He played Dante Jackson in the DC. Dante is a crackhead accused of killing a woman of no consequence in Hell's Kitchen. No one believes when he says he didn't do it. Unfortunately since he was high and passed out at the time, he can't really prove his own innocence. Enter Matt Murdock and his law partner, Froggy Nelson. Matt, using his built in lie detector (his powers allow him to hear heartbeats, essentially he can tell is someone is lying to him) believes this societal nobody and agrees to help him. Well guess who is behind this murder and cover up. If you said "Kingpin", go order yourself a pizza. Dante's case ends up being the thread, that pulled hard enough, unravels the whole crime network! And who does this unraveling? The blind lawyer and his unimpressive friend. So while Daredevil beats the person of Kingpin physically, it is Matt Murdock and Froggy Nelson who kill the really danger of Kingpin, the crime network.
Deep huh? Well apparently too deep for the film company. They new what people really wanted, to see Sidney Bristow get to know Ben Affleck in the "Biblical sense".
Again, for those not in the know, Sidney Bristow is Jennifer Gardner's alias on the show Alias. She plays Elektra, a truly tragic character who has had to deal with the murder of both her parents and deals by becoming a really good assassin, and an on again off again lover to Matt Murdock. At least in the funny books. In the movies her dad is killed and sense she knows karate she goes to do something about it. In the book and in both movies Kingpin uses an assassin to kill her. However the screen time for Sidney is way different in the two versions of the movie, in the TC she is all over it, almost as much as Daredevil is. In fact she shares the poster with him. And got her own movie. Not so in the DC. Less screen time. Less focus and, get this, no sex.
No sex?! What is this world coming to? The Bennifer sex scene was filmed months after the movie had cut. It seems the studio had already kiboshed Dante and the whole "Blind Lawyer" thing and decided they needed a more "satisfying" relationship. Translation: boo justice, boo law, boo exposing crooked cops, boo complete characters and movie that makes sense, yay attractive people having sex! Ugh. Essentially these execs decided that the movie going public (read: us) don't want to see movies that are about defenders of justice, don't want to think, don't want to see a character who defends people that they step over; what they really want to see is attractive people. This makes me actually angry. I am offended that all the substance was removed from this flick. But I have a thought that gives me pause...what if these execs are right?
Close your eyes. Imagine you are in a grocery store. Now you are in the check out line. Look to your left. What do you see? "Jessica Simpson and Nick Lechay: Breaking up?", "Elvis alive, and engaged to Jennifer Aniston". The tabloids. Someone is buying these things. Actually a LOT of people buy these things. They also watch "Extra", "Entertainment Tonight" and "Insider". What they are not doing is volunteering at soup kitchen's. They're not picking careers based on who they can help. They're choosing happy thoughts about pretty people and trying not to pause to think about they people on the other side of that bridge, or a few stops down on the subway. And I am one of those people. I am not into celeb culture, but I choose a lot of happy, easy, brain numbing forms of entertainment, over asking how I can be a real Matt Murdock. The truth is, as I write this I don't feel very good. I feel convicted. I feel like I am ignoring my responsibilities as a Christian and as a person. Maybe that is why the movie was changed in the first place.
I probably should warn you now, I am going to write a lot about movies, comics, sports and politics, with a dash of amateur theology just to make things a little spicy. This blog is mostly going to cover movies, comics and maybe a little politics (though I make no promises).
Daredevil is a great comic book character. For those of you who are not "in the know", Daredevil is a actually a blind attorney named Matt Murdock. Some of you might be asking "a blind superhero? How is that possible?" (the rest of you are asking, "don't I have something better to do with my time?"). Well young Matthew, was blinded by radioactive gunk in the eyes, which while blinding him, enhanced all of his other senses and allowed him to "see" echoes and vibrations (amazingly enough he was not given cancer or infertility). In addition to the whole blinding, Matt was raised by a washed up prized fighter, who was later killed during his comeback for not throwing a fight...Think "Cinderella Man" only a lot sadder. So Matt was left to fend for himself in Hell's Kitchen, NY.
Tragic story, huh? Well it gets a little better. Matt ends up being a great student and is able to rise above his tough upbringing to go to college. Then law school. Then pass the bar and become an actual lawyer in, you guessed it, Hell's Kitchen, where he opens a practice specifically designed to defend the poorest of the poor in one of New York's roughest areas. Oh, and when he can't beat the bad guys in the court room, he does it on the street while wearing a red suit with horns as Daredevil (did I mention that he is your classic tortured Catholic?). Really I would recommend reading Frank Miller's "Man Without Fear" graphic novel, it tells this origin better than I ever will. I would lend you my copy, but you might bend the pages.
Now I am going to begin talking about the movie, I will spoil the poop out of it. I am guessing though that if you wanted to see it, you would've made time to in the last two years. I enjoyed the movie. A lot of people didn't. For fans, they changed too much. For non-fans, the effects were cheesy. For Ben Affleck haters, it had Ben Affleck in it. But hey, I was a casual Daredevil fan when I saw it and I got to see it on Valentine's day with Donan (I love you honey!). Sure the action had too much wire work, and Elektra (Matt Murdock's doomed girlfriend) was as much a star as the movies namesake, but whatever it was fun and I dug the darker vibe of the movie.
Then the Director's Cut DVD came out.
I will now spit on the theatrical cut of the movie...
HHHHHHHWWWWWWAKKKKKKKKKKK........PLOOOOEEYYYYY!
Usually DC's (as you can see I am abbreviating "Director's Cut" because it takes too long to type) are not better. In fact they are usually reserved for making PG-13 movies, R movies by adding a sex scene. Typically they should be called "Director's Smut". Daredevil is the exception to that rule. This DC is a completely different vision for the movie and a vision that from where I am sitting calls into question are societal values.
Daredevil at his very core is a justice driven character. He has no interest in saving the world. He doesn't fight aliens or mutants or sea monsters, he fights crime. He fights criminals. He fights corrupt social institutions. For this reason his villains are often thugs, murderer's, rapists and of course the "Kingpin of crime" (think Al Capone, but only much, much fatter). Kingpin is a crimelord. He doesn't the control the world, or even the US, he wants to make a lot of money off of the weakest members of our society. You know, the people Daredevil fights for. In the theatrical cut of the movie you see these two as adversaries as well, they even fight at the end of the movie and Kingpin goes to jail. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that is that they are fighting because Kingpin killed Matt's father and girlfriend (Elektra), NOT because he is destroying Matt's home and his people. The DC changes this whole dynamic, and in turn the entire movie.
Remember Coolio? "Fantastic Voyage"? "Gangsta's Paradise"? That Coolio. He can act. Really. He's even in "Daredevil". Did you see him? The answer is no, because his entire character in cut from the movie. He played Dante Jackson in the DC. Dante is a crackhead accused of killing a woman of no consequence in Hell's Kitchen. No one believes when he says he didn't do it. Unfortunately since he was high and passed out at the time, he can't really prove his own innocence. Enter Matt Murdock and his law partner, Froggy Nelson. Matt, using his built in lie detector (his powers allow him to hear heartbeats, essentially he can tell is someone is lying to him) believes this societal nobody and agrees to help him. Well guess who is behind this murder and cover up. If you said "Kingpin", go order yourself a pizza. Dante's case ends up being the thread, that pulled hard enough, unravels the whole crime network! And who does this unraveling? The blind lawyer and his unimpressive friend. So while Daredevil beats the person of Kingpin physically, it is Matt Murdock and Froggy Nelson who kill the really danger of Kingpin, the crime network.
Deep huh? Well apparently too deep for the film company. They new what people really wanted, to see Sidney Bristow get to know Ben Affleck in the "Biblical sense".
Again, for those not in the know, Sidney Bristow is Jennifer Gardner's alias on the show Alias. She plays Elektra, a truly tragic character who has had to deal with the murder of both her parents and deals by becoming a really good assassin, and an on again off again lover to Matt Murdock. At least in the funny books. In the movies her dad is killed and sense she knows karate she goes to do something about it. In the book and in both movies Kingpin uses an assassin to kill her. However the screen time for Sidney is way different in the two versions of the movie, in the TC she is all over it, almost as much as Daredevil is. In fact she shares the poster with him. And got her own movie. Not so in the DC. Less screen time. Less focus and, get this, no sex.
No sex?! What is this world coming to? The Bennifer sex scene was filmed months after the movie had cut. It seems the studio had already kiboshed Dante and the whole "Blind Lawyer" thing and decided they needed a more "satisfying" relationship. Translation: boo justice, boo law, boo exposing crooked cops, boo complete characters and movie that makes sense, yay attractive people having sex! Ugh. Essentially these execs decided that the movie going public (read: us) don't want to see movies that are about defenders of justice, don't want to think, don't want to see a character who defends people that they step over; what they really want to see is attractive people. This makes me actually angry. I am offended that all the substance was removed from this flick. But I have a thought that gives me pause...what if these execs are right?
Close your eyes. Imagine you are in a grocery store. Now you are in the check out line. Look to your left. What do you see? "Jessica Simpson and Nick Lechay: Breaking up?", "Elvis alive, and engaged to Jennifer Aniston". The tabloids. Someone is buying these things. Actually a LOT of people buy these things. They also watch "Extra", "Entertainment Tonight" and "Insider". What they are not doing is volunteering at soup kitchen's. They're not picking careers based on who they can help. They're choosing happy thoughts about pretty people and trying not to pause to think about they people on the other side of that bridge, or a few stops down on the subway. And I am one of those people. I am not into celeb culture, but I choose a lot of happy, easy, brain numbing forms of entertainment, over asking how I can be a real Matt Murdock. The truth is, as I write this I don't feel very good. I feel convicted. I feel like I am ignoring my responsibilities as a Christian and as a person. Maybe that is why the movie was changed in the first place.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
So I have come to the conclusion that if you didn't have to write a first blog, everyone would have one. Seriously, I decided that I wanted to have a blog months ago, but have put off starting one until now for only one reason... I didn't want my first post to suck. I am going to tell everyone I know that I opened one of these things and I am really nervous this is going to suck. So, I have decided to boldly step out and contribute my thoughts for all the world (or at least the people who like me enough to read about my life) to judge. So I will start with the classiest and most intelligent of all American cultural phenomenons, professional wrestling.
Are you still there? Well for the five of you left I will explain. The other stressful part of blogging is naming your blog. Without an intriguing name, you really start in a hole. My friend Denice has a blog that is name "Year 23". What a perfect name! It's simple, classy and looks great at the top of a page. So I decided to flatter her the best way I know how... I stole it! Well not exactly, but come on, "Gen 26" has the same simple classy look and since it is from the Bible, I can keep using it after my next birthday!
Yes I do have a point. "Gen 26" is short for Genesis 32:26, my favorite verse in the Bible. Since it is kind of crucial for what I am going to write about, I will tell you what it says for those of you without a Bible next to your computer (SHAME!);
Are you still there? Well for the five of you left I will explain. The other stressful part of blogging is naming your blog. Without an intriguing name, you really start in a hole. My friend Denice has a blog that is name "Year 23". What a perfect name! It's simple, classy and looks great at the top of a page. So I decided to flatter her the best way I know how... I stole it! Well not exactly, but come on, "Gen 26" has the same simple classy look and since it is from the Bible, I can keep using it after my next birthday!
Yes I do have a point. "Gen 26" is short for Genesis 32:26, my favorite verse in the Bible. Since it is kind of crucial for what I am going to write about, I will tell you what it says for those of you without a Bible next to your computer (SHAME!);
"Then the man said "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."
Profound huh? Well I guess not really, but maybe this will help, the man, is God (or an angel, or Jesus, depending on who you ask, but this is my blog so it is God, got it?) and God and Jacob have been wrestling all night. Still not impressed? Okay how about this, at some point during the night, God touched Jacob's hip and dislocated it, which I assume hurt a lot. So if your sill lost I have one more piece of background info, Jacob is a pretty mamma's boy who stole his twin brother's inheritance and than ran away and spent the next twenty or so years hiding from his large, hairy, hunting enthusiast brother. Oh and this wrestling match with almighty takes place with Jacob on the way to try and make nice with the hairy brother.
I like Jacob. A lot. I like Jacob because up until this point in Genesis he is completely unlikable. I'm serious, he has no redeeming qualities. Remember Caesar from Gladiator? Jacob is just as unlikable and whinny as him. Shockingly, God keeps helping him out and good things keep happening to him. Professional wrestling is like this. I'm not kidding. Bad guys in wrestling are usually not big, scary jerks who beat you up, at least not the entertaining ones. No, usually they are whinny, manipulative cheaters, who have big friends do all the work. Oh, and they are usually really pretty and use big words, I forgot that part. They never win because they are better than the guy they are wrestling, they win because they use steel chairs as weapons. Or chains. Or sledgehammers, briefcases, sticks, bricks or they just save the trouble by having a big friend of theirs hit the good guy. Also they win almost all the time. This part infuriates my wife Donan. She doesn't like wrestling anyway, but really hates it when the bad guys win, which is 90% of the time. She really doesn't like wrestling.
But I do. And I usually like these bad guys, in no small part because at some point they have the Jacob wrestling God moment (usually in a steel cage). They come to a point where they have to actually wrestle the good guy, who EVERYONE knows is better than them. But sometimes, when the chips are down, these pretty, whinny, cheating bad guys actually show a lot of heart. Sometimes they fight back. Sometimes they refuse to give up. Sometimes endure an incredible amount of (fake) punishment and keep coming and coming. Yes they usually end up losing these fair fights, but they usually come out of these fights the new good guys. Like Jacob. Jacob the mamma's boy. The pretty boy. The coward, held God in a headlock, fighting back tears from a dislocated hip and would not give up. And God liked that. Sure he could smite-ray this punk, but instead decided to bless him and give him the name Israel, which would prove to be pretty significant name for Jacob's ancestors.
So yeah, I like Jacob and wrestling. I relate to Jacob and to wrestling's bag guys. I feel like I am somewhere in the midst of that match with God, I would stop, but I also want to be blessed. So next time you flip through the channels and see fat guys in their underwear fighting, try thinking about Jacob. Then turn the channel, I bet you can find something better on.
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