Where do you go from the bottom?

I have a confession, I am a cynic. Some people are liberal, some conservative, some grumpy, some intellectual, me just cynical. Conspiracy theories, bring em on! A leader falling from grace, hey, I'll be then one thinking "I knew it!". In the last year my new favorite hobby has gone from doubting the "church" (whoever that really represents), to doubting politicians (yes, those are different on occasion). So it should come as no surprise that I posted almost an entire blog that was a love letter to Green Day, they are cynical of both institutions! Talk about love at first listen. One problem though, I am not punk rocker, protester, or anarchist, I am a Christian. More so, I actually work in ministry for a Christian organization. How do I reconcile these things, by trying to be a "hopeful realist". Let me try and explain.

Our world has issues. I am not sure how anyone can deny that. A minority of the people have the majority of the money. Issue. People die at the hands of someone else, thousands of times a day. Issue. Thousands more die, because they lack food. Or water. Or shelter. Issue, issue, issue! Add in rape, molestation, an environment choking under the weight of its population, racism and more additional issues than you care to read about. I feel justified as a cynic. I see these things and depending on my mood either roll my eyes, punch a wall, swear profusely or occasionally just sit in beaten silence. As if all of this crap wasn't enough, I occasionaly can see myself clearly enough to know that I lie when I am backed into a corner, am greedy with my money, am never satisfied with what I have and desire the very things that despise others for having. Basically I lack the opportunity, not the capacity to do the disgraceful acts listed above. So cynicism grows. As a result, I like artists who talk about the things I am cynical about. I like Green Day, because they don't like people dying. I like Green Day because they don't like materialistic Christians. I really like Sum 41 when they acknowledge all of our responsibility to our issue-y world (the song "We're All to Blame"). It's like these songs are written by me, if, of course I were a better writer.

End of story right? Wrong. As much sympathy as I have with these bands, I just can't throw my hat in with them. Not fully at least. I can't go to a doctor who is great at identifying symptoms, I need one who gets the disease. Green Day doesn't. Sum 41 doesn't. They are great observers, perhaps among the best that we have, but they have no answers. No next step. Nothing, except keen observations. They see the death, the materialism, the brokenness and have nothing to offer other than anger and shame. Well, I already have enough of those things! What I need is answers. But where do you find those? New leaders? Seems reasonable, abuse of power is the core of almost everything I listed above, but who can actually be trusted with power? Remember all that internal stuff I talked about? I am too cynical to believe that other people are that much better than me. Hey the most brilliant part of the US government is that no one is allowed unchecked power, and we've been trying to circumvent that since day one! Who can blame the cynic for quitting?

As a cynic, each day I have two choices, quit or have hope. That's it, two options. When I do manage to chose hope, I really only have one option of where to look and that is God. Seriously, where else can I turn? Green Day? Politics? Myself? Three strikes. So why is God not another strike? Well, I like Jesus' politics; give power away, take care of the poor, challenge the policy makers when they don't do these things. I like His theology; you try and do this without help and your screwed. And I love the power that is on display by giving us a fresh start and the promise to change us into people who can live for these principles. I see no other conclusion to the real problems we all see when we chose to look.

So I am a hopeful realist. I am way too cynical to ignore the realities that surround me, way too hopeful to just stew about it. As a result, I get frustrated by religious folk who refuse to be real and also frustrated (though way more sympathetic) for the cynics who choose to dwell in their own swill. Today I am choosing hope, because I want to see change and am way stoked that my God does as well.