a call to live

I have a confession for everyone... I am bored.

Bored, bored, bored.

I am bored of overly choreographed worship. I am bored of TV. I am bored with DVD's, video games, even (just a little bit) with sports.

All of it simply reeks of familiarity, it feels like I have seen it or experienced all too many times before. I want live an abundant life, but somehow, somewhere I have settled for a redundant one.

But I have to ask; does anyone really have the answer to that which ails me? Really? Is there anyone out there, any real saints or real sinners who can tell me what it means to truly live?

I have tried pretty hard a more worldly route. I have drank nights away, with only slight recollections to tell me what I missed the morning after. But those nights rarely ever led to any epic life giving morning. They were depressingly like each night that came before them. The script remained the same: Drink. Smoke something that would have me coughing for two days. Tell all my friends how much I loved them (which was very true, though I only seemed capable to say it when intoxicated). Hit on some girls. Abuse myself with a cookie sheet, a bush, or occasionally a lighter and then go to bed somewhere I never intended to. Repeat.

Is that really an epic or abundant way to live? I craved stories, something that would impress others, or make me some sort of legend. However, most those nights filled no real hole, except a legit desire to see my buddies.

But do Christians really offer a better path? As a Christian male I know that an entire Christian industry has formed around a basic acknowledgment that we are bored by Christianity. For awhile I found a lot of satisfaction in that industry, but I am no hunter or camper. I have lots of friends who are not Christians who feel manly out in the woods. I don't. I have to believe that Christ's promise of an abundant life still applies to me, as wussy as city life has made me.

Recently I thought that maybe abundant life would meet me if I took better care of my body, if I could simply do away with all of the pesky insecurities of the way I look, then life would suddenly grow easier and more exciting. So I changed the way I eat and started working out. Next thing I knew I weighed 40 pounds less and could run longer and play sports better then I ever had before. Surely life feels more abundant now! Nope. I am still me and perhaps that is the problem.

In reality I do want to be part of some epic story, the heart of what I was looking for when I would get wasted and use my hand for kindling. I do want to be part of an adventure, just not one in the woods. Furthermore I am correct in seeing that insecurity is holding me back. Unfortunately insecurity cannot be healed by looking good in facebook pictures.

Today is the day after Easter. Today is the first day to follow the resurrection of Jesus. For many of us, the resurrection of Jesus doesn't represent anything more than a fancy type of fire insurance, some guarantee that hell is not in our immediate future. I am banking that it means something more. I am banking that it represents a new way to live our lives. Life without nagging insecurities. Life that takes place in the midst of some epic story. Life that offers adventures and challenges that dare us to be more than we thought we can be. I need to live like Jesus' resurrection ultimately gives me an opportunity to fail. By fail I mean shoot higher and farther than I could if what I did depended on me and now that death (or boredom, they feel the same to me) is only temporary and that life really can be eternal.

I want to invite anyone who reads this to come along with me. If you are bored with church, your lifestyle or your own pesky internal monologue, let's live resurrected lives!