confronted with my own pettiness

On Saturday, I called the Verizon customer service line with a legitimate complaint. My voicemail had been on the fritz for a couple of days, leaving people unable to leave me messages. I also mentioned some issues that I had been having with my GPS. The GPS issue was secondary and I am not even sure why I mentioned it. Then something interesting happened, the operator mentioned that I may be eligible for a replacement phone if we couldn't get the GPS working.

A new phone? For me? Why thank you!

Suddenly I thought to myself, "what if they are out of my phone? Could I receive a better phone? More RAM? A front-facing camera?". My thoughts went from the legitimate, to a lustful wanting, almost immediately.

Then I was connected with an IT guy who immediately annoyed me. He wasn't rude, mean or dismissive. He was knowledgeable. He knew how to make my phone work better. He understood the issues and gave sound advice on how to get it running again. He knew how to ensure that I would not need a replacement device.

I tried to be gracious, but I was unhappy. This person was costing me something new and something shinny. I started asking questions. I asked why this didn't work or that didn't work. He answered all my questions and proved to be very helpful.

Then he asked about my voicemail. I realized I had almost forgotten why I called. So he tested my voicemail and heard: "Hello, you have reached Jeremiah with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship at Washington State University...". He asked me what I did for a living and what Intervarsity was. As I replied, his voice changed. He proceeded to tell me how necessary I was and how college students needed Christian mentors. He talked about how important Christian mentors were to him in college and how he is a member of his local church because of the Christian community he had in college.

In that moment I realized the extent to which my own greed and materialism had blind me to the human being on the other end of the phone. In my lust, I had de-humanized someone. My desire for something new was no different than looking at pornography; I had allowed someone else's humanness to diminish to fulfill one of my wants.

I felt small, but also grateful. God knows my needs and how and where to communicate with me. I can only hope, that I can learn from my father how to instruct and correct Moira as well and as patiently as my Divine Father leads me.