Death

I have been told by many, many people that death is all part of life. That we live and we die. Just like the grass. Just like the rest of nature. That we shouldn't really mourn death, because its all part of (as the Lion King would describe it) the circle of life. Somehow I am supposed to find it amazing that someday we all become fertilizer and thus grass becomes greener. It's all natural.

Bullshit.

I am sorry, I don't really like to swear. I do figure though, if you are going to do it, make it count.

Death is not natural. It is the most unnatural thing that I can think of. Breathing is natural. Kissing is natural. Sleeping is natural. But death? Anything but. It doesn't matter how religious or how pragmatic you are, when someone dies it just feels wrong. It feels empty. It doesn't feel at all natural.

My friend Julie passed away on Monday. I haven't actually seen her face to face in three years. Yet nothing feels right today. Nothing. Everything feels a little bit off. Nothing feels natural or normal. I miss her. I want to see her. But I can't. There is something blocking me from seeing my friend. From giving her a hug. From telling her how much her friendship, her smile and her honest and authentic way of living changed the way I see God and the purpose of my life. Not being able to tell her these things is not natural.

A lot of people have tried to tell me (Christians included) that the story of Eden is in some way an analogy. Sorry, can't buy it. Without Eden, nothing makes sense. I need to see a perfect creation. One without flaw. Without sin. And without death. I have to know that Eve and Adam ate that fruit and that result was death. I have to know that there was a curse that came with "wanting to be like God" and that with that curse came sin and that death is sin. And I need to know that the corruption of that fruit was ACTUALLY reversed at the cross of Jesus. That at the cross, death went from the end to the beginning. I need to know that death is not natural. I need to know that life is.

Julie, your death was far from natural, yet the resurrection and life that you are now living is. It is more natural that anything that I have ever experienced. I miss you. I cannot wait to see you again and to experience what you are now experiencing. Thank you Jesus, for reversing the curse and bringing things back to the natural order.